This article is classified "Real"
Are you looking to pursue a career as a saute cook in America? Would you
just like to learn more about the aspects involved with being a saute cook
in America? Are you just really bored and looking for anything mildly
entertaining to read? If you have answered "yes" to any of these
questions, please feel free to read further. Or, if you have answered "no"
to all of the above questions, you may want to read this article anyway,
simply because you have already come this far; a popular American quote is
"nobody likes a quitter".
The Meaning Of Saute
--------------------
Let's look at the French word "saute" and its actual meaning. The term
"saute" is an adjective meaning: "fried quickly in a pan with a little
butter or other fat [1]." This definition is very true, but is it
actually helpful to most inexperienced kitchen people? Possibly not, but
live with it. Now, Webster's Dictionary does not have a definition for
saute pan, but if they did, I'm quite sure it would be a noun meaning:
"frying pan, or pan used in frying."
The Saute Cook In America
-------------------------
Once again, Webster's Dictionary did not provide a definition for the term
"saute cook", but I'm sure this is how it would read: "a hot, sweaty
person covered in a large amount of butter or other fat." This, however,
may not always be true, since saute cooks may also be covered in a large
variety of other tasty sauces. Some examples are: marinara, pesto,
alfredo, and pomadori. The list of sauces can go on and on, beginning with
a simple scampi [2], down to complex sauces you wouldn't want to stick in
your mouth if you ever managed to find out all the ingredients that
actually went into them.
That Sounds Fun! How Can I Get Employed As A Saute Cook?
---------------------------------------------------------
Simply apply for the job. They'll probably give it to you right away,
especially if someone just quit. If not, try attending a reputable
culinary school for a few years. If you fail after that, simply memorize
the phrase, "Welcome to Burger King, may I take your order?" Why should I
learn that you ask? Because you can't cook!
Why Should I Want A Job As A Saute Cook?
----------------------------------------
You most likely don't, but if you insist on looking for some good reasons
to do such a thing, try these: saute pan burns leave interesting scars;
you didn't need that hair on your arm anyway; tomato-based stains are not
easy to get out of white shirts.
Flipping Stunts
---------------
Here are some entertaining flipping stunts that may be used to liven up an
otherwise monotonous career choice.
1) The simple flip: this, of course, is simply flipping the food
contained within the saute pan, off the pan's outer rim
(furthest from the handle), and hopefully having all its
contents land back within the pan's outer rims. Seen as
impressive by most, but mere child's play to a true saute
cook.
2) The reverse-simple flip: a slight variation of the simple
flip, only the food is flipped off the inner edge nearest the
handle. However, this is not the common flip for most
American saute cooks, and is mostly seen in Chinese Wok
cooking, but don't quote me on that. For all I know it could
be one of those unusual lefty things. I'm right handed,
myself.
3) The double flip: the simple flip performed simultaneously
with saute pans in both hands.
4) The double-switch flip: complicated, but unbelievably easy if
practiced enough. There are two ways to perform this method.
The first method involves flipping both pan's contents into
the air, and simply crossing the now empty pans before their
contents return back down again. The second method is much
harder: this involves actually crossing the pan's contents
without actually switching either pan, and hoping the two
pan's contents do not collide in mid-air before landing
gracefully into each adjacent pan. This is very hard.
WARNING: learning this trick may not be good for your
kitchen's food cost [3]. Attempt this trick at your own
discretion, or if you just hit the lottery, and plan to quit
anyway.
5) The triple flip: this is performed with two pans in one hand,
and a single pan in the other. The simple flip is used for
all hands involved.
Note: it is always best to have your dominant hand hold the
pair of pans, while your least dominant hand holds the
remaining one.
6) The etcetera flip: done with four or more saute pans. As the
number of pans increases, it will become more difficult. If
anyone says that they can flip four or more pans, they are
either ambidextrous and really good; have a friend helping
them out; or they're, most likely, lying. Take your pick.
7) The "accidentally flipping it onto the floor and then picking
it back up again" flip: just kidding folks! Kitchen people
would never dream of doing such a cruel and unsanitary thing.
Unless we're really, really super weeded [4]. No, not really.
I'm kidding again!
[1] From the Webster's Dictionary 1989.
[2] Basically butter, garlic, and white wine.
[3] Food cost is basically just as the name implies. You take the cost of
the food that you buy, compare it to the food that you sell, then you
mysteriously put these two figures together and come up with your food
cost. Somehow? Anyway, if the food cost gets too high, people end up
getting fired.
[4] Kitchen term meaning that you are so unbelievably busy cooking food
that you want to quit your job, and find a new less stressful one.