This article is classified "Fictional"
Many of you are probably familiar with Basic Computronics. For those who are not, I shall explain the general theory up to this point in time. I have made some discoveries which modify it a slight amount. Computrons are subatomic particles of indeterminate size whose sole purpose is the enabling and facilitating of calculations. They are used by both man and computer, and seem to linger. This explains why a computer or idea works fine in the factory or university but fails miserably in real life use. The factory or university has plenty of computrons while the typical home, office, or other area generally lacks these most vital of all particles. But whence come computrons? Where do they go? Through a series of extensive experiments, tests and refinings, I believe that I have the answer. This answer is my theory of Advanced Computronics. I have found that computrons are generated by neurons and by logic circuits at rest, and by the reaction of certain organic cells with oxygen. When a neuron fires or a logic circuit changes state, a computron is destroyed. Computrons are also destroyed by bright sunlight, which is why many hackers prefer hacking indoors and at night. This may also explain the foolishness of beach bums. Further experimentation is obviously needed. There is yet a third way for a computron to be destroyed: in a reaction with an erron. Errons are produced only when a computron is used, not when it is exposed to bright sunlight or reacts with an erron. Errons are destroyed in their reactions with computrons, since the two particles are exact opposites. When an erron is used instead of a computron, errors occur. There is a 21.5781% chance of erron production when a computron is used. It appears that this chance may be altered by as yet undiscovered factors which further research should reveal. In normal situations, the erron level is kept near 0 and the computron level is steady (leading to the illusion that computrons are not destroyed when used). Several factors can interrupt this happy situation and may cause problems. First of all, a lack of computrons, such as is found in a modern home or office, can lead to an increase in errons. When this happens, small errors occur. Unlike computrons, errons multiply when used; 3 of every 17 errors produce errons. This explains the common unrelated errors to be found when one thing goes wrong. Second, an increase in errons can cause a chain reaction in which the computron level plummets and errors abound. This often occurs when an erron-heavy source, such as a foolish individual, strays too near to a calculating man or machine. The errons start destroying computrons, which may result in natural errors, which have a 3 in 17 chance of creating errons, which destroy more computrons et cetera. It is a dangerous spiral. But there are good effects which sometimes happen. Due to the oxygen-cell reaction, computrons abound in greenhouses and in old forests. Much inspiration and thought can occur in these places. Unfortunately, due to the tendency of computrons to float away and through anything (except certain organic materials), no known setting can provide a 100% computron atmosphere. Lastly, when a computer or man is near a computron intensive source, such as a computer factory or university, it or he will be able to perform amazing feats of calculation. Computrons are very important particles; without them we would be able to do naught but sit around stupidly. It is of the utmost importance that research be done into computron storage, dispensing and measurement so that we and our computers will always do our best.