This article is classified "Partly real, partly fictional"
After reading in the Guide about the Terran Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster
(PGGB), I have decided to design my own Non-Alcoholic version for the
younger fans, of which I happen to belong. My brother helped in the
creation of this article, and he wants to be mentioned. (Hi, Ian!)
So here we go:
1) Take the liquid from any clear soda you have available,
because you will see everything clearly after this drink.
Cherry flavoring enhances the savor of the drink.
2) Slowly pour in blue coloring for a wonderful color, because
seeing is always believing. (This is optional, in case you
don't have any food coloring.)
3) Let Coke, Pepsi, or whatever you prefer, run into the
mixture. Be mesmerized by the spreading blackness like the
black holes of space.
4) Speedily stirring the mixture, add orange juice in honor of
the brave oranges who died to give you this drink. Revel in
the circular logic of this statement.
5) Over the back of a silver spoon, spill a spoonful of sugar,
in commemoration of all the hyperactive children in the
galaxy. Rubberize your walls, for you shall be bouncing off
of them.
6) Drop in a single chocolate chip. This does not add much to
the flavor, but it is a treat for the end.
7) Finally, sprinkle Gatorade over the mixture. Let the complex
carbohydrates and replenishing minerals confuse your mind with
their utter uselessness, even though everybody thinks they
help.
Now you have the drink, and you are in the correct frame of mind to drink
it, if you followed all the instructions up to now.
Drink carefully.
Drink some more carefully.
The hell with carefulness, just drink it.
Enjoy.