This article is classified "Partly real, partly fictional"
The largest planet of our solar system is Jupiter. It is heavier than two
times all the other planets together! Jupiter has days of nine hours and
55 minutes, and revolves around the Sun in twelve years. As it emits
warmth because it's still contracting and as the element abundancy is
almost the same as in the interstellar medium, it is said that Jupiter is
a failed star. It just misses that little bit of mass, so that contraction
has never been able to cause Jupiter to ignite the nuclear reactions (and
ignition will never, ever happen, so don't worry). The name for this type
of object, between a planet and a star, is a Brown Dwarf. The whole Jovian
system, moons and all, bears close resemblance to the solar system itself.
The temperature of Jupiter's core is about 30,000 degrees Celsius, mainly
because the planet is still contracting on a scale of several millimeters a
year.
Overall Jupiter looks yellow, but you can notice a lot of different
coloured features on the surface. These are caused by different types of
molecules plus a stormy atmosphere. The Jovian core is thought to be a bit
rocky, but mostly Hydrogen in a metallic form. Then comes an atmosphere of
90% Hydrogen and 10% Helium. The surface, a layer with a relative
thickness smaller than an apple peel, is made up of other elements that
give Jupiter its colour. The additional white colours are caused by
ammonium (NH3) in the highest parts of the atmosphere (ammonium stinks).
The orange and brown colours come from a mixture of NH3 and H2S, the stuff
that smells like rotten eggs. Further H2O (water) gives some more colour
to Jupiter.
These colours can be seen as large bands parallel to the equator. Between
these bands you can see a lot of ovals; they are thousands of whirlwinds,
with the red spot the largest of them all. These turbulences are caused by
the outflow of warmth caused by contraction of the planet. The turbulences
themselves cause the cloud bands to rotate around Jupiter. The small
turbulences can last up to a few years, but the red spot has been present
for centuries.
As Jupiter almost completely consists of gas it is possible to go for
balloon flights in its upper atmosphere, in pressurized cabins.
Unfortunately the view is a bit foggy, however sometimes you can see
the different colours and turbulations of the clouds, but that is rare. As
the gravitational pull of Jupiter is enormous, huge balloons have to be
used so you can just as soon forget your upward view. The attractiveness
of flying in a balloon on Jupiter, or Saturn, Uranus, or Neptune, lies not
in the possible view, but in the riding of storms. While the other planets
are a bit cheaper to fly a balloon on, Jupiter has the most spectacular
storms, with as best of the best, the red spot. It's very risky to fly a
balloon on Jupiter, because the storms create a lot of lightning, which can
severely damage your balloon. The balloons of our solar system have
presently all gathered on Jupiter, awaiting the impacts of the parts that
make up the Shoemacher-Levy asteroid, which are expected to create
tremendous storms; the largest spectacle in the solar system in a long
time. Tourism on Saturn, Uranus and Neptune have as a result of this
fallen back somewhat.
Jupiter has the largest magnetosphere in the solar system. Its intensity
varies with Jupiter's rotation and with the position of the most inner of
its largest moons, Io. There exists a large electrical current between Io
and Jupiter, which supplies electricity to all households on Io, making Io
the cheapest place to live in the solar system as far as electrical
household appliances and waterbeds are concerned.
The Red Spot
------------
Approaching Jupiter you will surely notice the famous red spot. In a short
while it will act as a cosmic bullseye, when the Shoemacher-Levy
interstellar dart hits Jupiter. Whoever threw it must know he's cheating,
because it is expected that more bullseyes will appear in the exact places
of impact. The red spot is the largest storm/whirlwind on Jupiter. The
red colour can be attributed to phosphor pulled up from the deeper parts of
the atmosphere.
Multithon (The Rin(g/k))
------------------------
Jupiter inhabits the largest ice rink in the solar system. Once a year
the Great Jovian Eighteenthousandninehundredandninefold Skating Marathon is
held on its ring. During the race a lot of people quit because they
either fall of the ring, starve, dehydrate, or die of exhaustion
(understatement for lack of oxygen). A difficulty with the match,
theoretically, is that the one before hasn't finished when the next one
begins. It is thus hard to create schedules to improve the record time,
again, theoretically. In fact, the record time to cross the finish line
hasn't been set yet, because the first match has yet to end. At this very
moment an approximate 906,940 matches are taking place. Here I have to
point out that the rules leave no space for the race to end when all the
participants have snuffed it.
Turning back to the quitting, for the not so bright it's very easy to fall
off the rings, because the gravity of the ring itself is negligible
compared to the gravity of Jupiter. Skating on the middle of the long side
of the ring is comparable to running a marathon on the vertical side of the
chinese wall. As the ring is one kilometer thick and 6,500 km wide it is
also possible, within the same rules, to skate on the far side, but that
will increase the distance to a nineteenthousandthreehundredandninetysix-
fold marathon. Still it is a large gaining factor when you can choose for
skating instead of mountaineering. In fact, every not so bright competitor
who has ever started at the middle of the flat part of the ring, has fallen
of. Well, except for one. The endurance record (of skating, or for that
matter, being, at the middle of the ring) is held by pope Kevin Jagger, who
immediately after the starting shot was given, kissed the ice and froze to
the spot, after which the rest of the batch fell of the ring, making a nice
spectacle for all the ballooners hovering in the upper atmosphere of
Jupiter. Eventually, after 2 days, 3 hours, 25 minutes and 13.01 seconds,
pope Kevin Jagger died of dehydration, setting the record on 2d3h25m13.01s
exactly. The yellow stripe he left, frozen parallel to the starting line,
is forever looked upon with awe by all those not so bright competitors yet
to start.
This record is even longer than that of the far side multithon. That one
is set at 1h15m57s, or 42.77 km by Mick Lentin, who got incredibly far on
the one hour oxygen tank every participant gets at the starting line. Mick
was one of the first skaters who attempted this nineteenthousand-
threehundredandninetysixfold marathon. Even cheaters, who bring their own
oxygen tank with them, never get further than that because they always
pretty soon encounter the Mountain Of Participants over which it is
impossible to climb (Mick Lentin is just on the other side of it). This
mountain can even be seen from Io and Ganymede! Voices have sounded which
opted to move up the starting line two hours or so, but The Rules don't
allow for that.
Why, do you ask, did Pope Kevin Jagger last so long on such little oxygen?
The referees tell stories about getting air from the ice, not needing as
much air as a mobile person, a local probability anomaly, but that is all
a lie. He didn't last that long. It's all a hoax to get more tourists.
Hitchhikers, be warned!
Inner Moons
-----------
The small inner moons of Jupiter, Metis, Adrastea, Amalthea, and Thebe,
are in an orbit with an inclination of 35 deg with respect to Jupiter's
equator. All smaller moons have diameters of about 200km. They orbit
around Jupiter in the same sense as Jupiter itself. These moons are
probably remains from Jupiter's birth. The inner moons are also the
source of dust for the ring. Tiny meteorites falling towards Jupiter
bombard the moons and make a lot of dust fall off them.
Galilean Satellites
-------------------
The Galilean satellites, so called because they were the ones Galileo
discovered with his primitive telescope, are Io, Europa, Ganymede, and
Callisto. These four moons hold records for the smoothest, the most
cratered, the oldest, and the youngest surfaces on moons in our solar
system (not in the same order). Thanks to the tidal forces, their orbits
have reached resonance, so seen from Jupiter they are never aligned.
Io
--
Io is a bit larger than our moon and overall looks orange. Actually Io
looks more like a cosmic pizza with all the different colours of sulphur:
yellow, orange, brown, white. The surface is like a face with zits:
lots of mountains and volcanoes (they are actually more like geysers) with
yellow goo oozing out (no, erupting, to heights of 300km). The tidal
forces of Jupiter, Europa and Ganymede bash up this poor planet and create
friction, which warms up the sulphur just below the surface, so that it
remains molten. The sulphur erupts out of the volcanoes like puss and
renews Io's surface constantly. Due to this activity (Io is the place that
best looks like the old ideas of Hell) hardly anyone wants to live on Io,
so a lot of the created electricity is wasted. What is used is mostly
directed to the air conditioning.
Apart from the costs of living I see no reason to go to Io. Unless you are
a sulphur miner of course (that's the *only* reason there are households on
Io at all!) Io has no water but it does possess the largest active volcano
in the solar system, called Pele. The volcanoes are the cause of the trail
of gasses Io trails behind it, like a giant farter. Io is the most active
body of our solar system.
Europa
------
Europa is a bit smaller than our moon and covered with ice. The surface is
very smooth, and has no craters due to the fact that the surface is renewed
constantly with fresh water from the inner oceans. Europa is therefore as
bright as a mountain lake. In years past the inner Europa has been heated
so that fresh water could reach the surface (and freeze). There is a
network of cracks because the ice cap has broken and dirty water has gotten
into the cracks. No craters here. Its core is made of rock.
Europa is the only place in the solar system that has as large a supply of
liquid water as the Earth. It is also a dangerous place to go. Many an
adventurer has taken up the challenge to play a game of hockey on its
surface, but not any of them has ever returned. In fact, no one at all has
ever returned from Europa. Either the place it too froody to leave, or
hideous monsters live in the oceans. This Europa bears no resemblance
whatsoever to the continent Europe on Earth.
Ganymede
--------
Ganymede is the largest moon in our solar system and made half of rock and
half of water/ice. It has a varied surface covered with large dark
heavily cratered parts just like Callisto, which are the remains of the
original surface. These large surfaces have drifted apart, just like the
continental drift we see on Earth. In between the "continents" you can
find clefts that form mountains and valleys made of brighter material,
cleaner frozen mud (like glaciers).
Callisto
--------
Callisto is the outer large moon with a very dark surface made of rock and
ice (i.e. frozen mud) and full of craters. Since its birth it hasn't
changed, so Callisto has the oldest unchanged surface of the solar system.
You can consider it a fossil of the prehistoric solar system. Due to a
heavy bombardment the icecrust has broken; the web of scars is called
"Walhalla." There is no geological activity on Callisto; its internal
structure is the same as Ganymede's. Mostly boring. The stuff that
(am.) footballers and baseballers put beneath their eyes comes from this
moon.
Outer Moons
-----------
The small outer moons of Jupiter, Leda, Himalia, Lysithea, Elare, Ananke,
Carme, Pasiphae, and Sinope, have orbits with inclinations of -35 deg (with
respect to the Jovian equator); the other way around from the inner small
moons. They also orbit around Jupiter in the anti-sense of Jupiter's
rotation. These moons are considered to be remains from the asteroid belt
between Mars and Jupiter, that have been captured in Jupiter's orbit.
The Trojans
-----------
Two points (Lagrange libration points L4 and L5) are through gravitational
effects (the interacting gravitational fields of the Sun and Jupiter)
stable equilibrium points. The following picture is not on a correct
scale.
o L4
/
/
/
o--------*----o--*---o L3
L1 Sun L2 / Jupiter
/
/
o L5
Oscillating (or librating) around those points you find some 12 asteroids
called the Trojans. Every two massive objects have these kind of objects;
the Earth/Moon system also. Here you find meteoric particles. It is a
good place to put a space station.
Space Probes
------------
Jupiter has been visited by four earth space-probes: Pioneer 10 and 11
(1973 and 1974), and Voyager I and II (both 1979, but II was first).
We earthlings have as a consequence of this planetary probe program a
limited understanding of what lies there. To know more about the Jovian
system, another space probe has been launched. The space probe Galileo
will soon reach Jupiter and drop a probe into the atmosphere. The
'mother'-probe will then continue to circle the Galilean moons.
How to Get There
----------------
I have absolutely no idea. When it's written, take a look at the article
about Abduction by UFOs.