This article is classified "Real"
If your cat has had a not very good experience, and requires medication
via pill, this article is for you.
I have suffered through about 28 pillings so far, and have found the best
tricks for shoving that little thingy down their littler throats.
First, get a pillgun. This looks like a wacky syringe, and works like
one. You just load the pill in the front, open the cat's mouth, insert
the pillgun down a few inches, and push the plunger. The pill comes out,
goes down the cat's throat, and eventually ends up in the stomach, where
it is ready to be barfed up.
How do you get the mouth open? Some literature says that you just put
your fingers someplace on his jaw, and pull back. That doesn't work on
my cats. So, I get a partner to pry its jaw open (I get a partner to do
that because cats occasionally bite), and when the mouth is open...
<jab> <poink> <wretch> <barf>. Easy!
In easy outline format:
I. Load the pillgun
A. Set pill on counter
B. Put pillgun nozzle on top of pill
C. Push down on pillgun assembly until pill goes into pillgun barrel
II. Open the cat's mouth
A. Pry it open
1. Try Jaws of Life
2. Or brute force
B. Hold it open
III. Shove pillgun down throat
A. Hold onto plunger brackets
B. Shove down throat (the cat's, not yours)
IV. Shoot!
A. Push plunger DOWN.
B. Pull pillgun out fast.
C. Let go of mouth fast.
D. Rub cat's chin fast until it swallows.
Easy as 3.14157!
Of course, that only works on dead cats.