This article is classified "Partly real, partly fictional"
There has been much written about dead stars that have undergone gravitational collapse. Scientists, in their quest to find dull common names for interesting subject material (i.e. 'Big Bang' instead of, say, 'Horrendous Space Kablooie') have coined the term 'black hole.' Speculations govern most of the black hole community, and the objects themselves have still not been proven to exist. Like most scientists, they have developed an advanced theory on something they have no clue about. The following is a condensed version of it. The outer planets in the Sol system are peculiar. Neptune, Uranus, and Pluto all have eccentricities in their orbits. Neptune's is explained by the presence of Uranus. Uranus, however, has a greater eccentricity than can be explained by the presence of Pluto. Pluto is just messed up. To explain Uranus's eccentricity, three theories have been offered. The least credible of these is that Pluto is made of some incredibly dense substance which gives it more gravity than one would theorize. Another theory is that there is another gas giant further away from Sol even than Pluto. This is possible, and the most widely accepted theory, but I prefer a third theory. It states that there is a black hole closer to Sol than the 4.2 light years to Alpha Centauri. Essentially, a black hole is a gravity drain. It pulls stuff into itself in much the same as water goes down a drain when one pulls the plug. The Event Horizon of a black hole is the point where nothing, not even light, can escape. It is estimated that the event horizon from a black hole formed of a medium-sized star the size of Sol, would extend three times the diameter of Pluto's orbit. As you pass through the event horizon, eventually you will find yourself turning into what is called Quantum Foam. This is bad. Imagine yourself melting into a puddle of viscous goo. This is not unlike quantum foam. Continuing towards the core of the black hole, for you have no choice, you will then become Quantum Spaghetti. This is quantum foam after all the molecules have broken down and the atoms rearranged. It looks rather like quantum foam, only stretched into long, thin strands. It also tastes marginally better than quantum foam. All in all, black holes are a hoopy place to go if you are one of those people who drives five miles per hour below the posted speed limit, are a militant vegetarian (or veganist), or thinks Tina Turner looks good in a miniskirt (or even at all).