This article is classified "Real"
Today, the world is filled with people who believe that saying rude things
can actually cause someone so much psychological pain that they will
instantly turn into a trout! Thus, in order to stop everyone from turning
into trouts, they devised a special system of codes that let someone know
they are being rude, all the while keeping their words impersonal and
scientific. What a trick!
And now you, yes you, can do this same amazing feat. Amaze your friends
by insulting them, but without causing them psycho-trauma! Here's how:
1) Pick any insult (eg. "That guy is short and fat! Sick!")
2) Transform the really insulting words into politically correct
terms, then
3) Say the sentence! (Eg. "That guy is both vertically and
horizontally challenged! Sick!")
Do you see how that worked? Let's look closer at Step 2:
"Short" became "vertically-challenged." "Fat" became "horizontally
challenged."
Note the "-challenged" part: that is the most important thing to get this
simple speech-mask to work. Pick the most scientific word you can thing of
to describe a condition, then throw in "-challenged". For example, the
deaf are "auditorially-challenged".
You now know the secret to speaking to people without turning them into
trouts. This type of speech is best used in the United States, where
people actually cannot say more than four words without an insult.
With luck, and this article, they will become more caring and
compassionate, as you see here!