Country Music, A Guide To

The World's Hoopiest Music

by Matt Baier (geiiga42@aol.com)
written 20 Jan 1997

This article is classified "Real"


Country music has long been laughed at, misrepresented, and thought to
feature dead dogs and ex-spouses.  This article was written for the sake of
these poor delusional people.


Recognizing Country Music
=========================
Some people recognize country music by the apparel worn by the listeners.
They site cowboy boots and hats as two of the main things worn by the fans
of this music.  This, unfortunately, has to be shown as incorrect.
Admittedly I, a fanatic of the genre, wear cowboy boots, but it has nothing
to do with hero worship.  The fact is, cowboy boots are better than hiking
boots for your average hitchhiker; they are more waterproof, keep bugs off
your legs better, and also make better weapons than their counterparts.
Another misconception is of cowboy hats.  Travis Tritt, one of the most
popular of all "new" country singers, does not wear a hat.

So, you may ask, having destroyed all the visible methods of discerning
country music from other styles, how is it done?  The answer, of course, is
it's not.  For a 90% accurate judgment, listen for a steel guitar or a
fiddle.  Of course, there are exceptions, such as "Homesick" by Travis
Tritt.


Who's Good
==========
For hot new country, I recommend that you listen to Garth Brooks and Travis
Tritt.  They are the new voice of country.  If you want specific songs, I
can only ask you to listen for yourself.  Some people genuinely believe
that country is bad.  If you are one of these people, there is still hope.
My best friend hated country for years, but now, especially with the
southern rock that has been added to it, it is his favorite kind of music.


Who To See In Concert
=====================
From this, I can only give you first and second hand reports.  If you want
to see a good show, I recommend Garth Brooks.  His shows have everything
that a good concert has:  loud tunes, good special effects [1], and of
course, the best songs ever.

Another good show is Clay Walker; he doesn't do much of the fancy stuff,
but the music is excellent.  If you are in Manhatten, Kansas, USA, during
the summer, you may want to check out Country Stampede.  It's a three-day
show with all new bands.  At all costs, avoid George Strait concerts.  His
new songs are fairly good, but he doesn't have much good old stuff, and
that's what the first two hours of his singing are.  He puts on a minimum
of a show, and it is thus incredibly boring.

[1] Usually the stage is circled with fire at some point in the show.

See also:
  • Country Music

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