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Hamlet is my favorite play of Shakespeare's four big tragedies [1]. It is
also the one that generally appeals more to modern audiences and leaves an
almost satisfied look on the faces of those people whose favorite phrase
is, "Why don't you get off your ass and do something?" The reason for this
is simple: the whole idea behind Hamlet is that it is possible to think
too much [2]. All of Hammy's problems stem from the fact that he doesn't
really want to do anything about them. Well, that, and the fact that his
uncle Claudius killed the King, Hamlet Senior, married Hamlet's mother,
Gertrude, then spent most of the rest of the play trying to kill him off.
Not a happy family life, one can be sure. Add to this mix an ornery ghost,
a pair of idiot childhood friends, a college buddy, an invading Prince of
Norway, an interfering advisor and his son and daughter [3], and you have
Hamlet. But forget the characters, the play's the thing.
The play takes place in Elsinore, Denmark. It begins where a pair of
guardsmen with very Danish-sounding names [5] are anxiously awaiting word
on whether or not they'd really seen a ghost. They have turned to Horatio,
just back with his buddy Hamlet from Wittenberg college. They see the
ghost, and decide that Hamlet would probably know better. Important: make
sure you notice the little bits about Fortinbras Sr. Not only does it give
you a little perspective on why Fortinbras Jr. is hanging around, but it
also gives you the eerie impression that forces both heavenly and earthly
are at war with Denmark. Good stuff for essays if you're reading this for
class.
But not now, because we go at once to the Danish court, where we are to
learn very quickly the following:
1) Hamlet's father died in the garden;
2) Hammy was called back from college in time to find out that:
3) his uncle and his mother are:
a) now man and wife, and
b) more importantly, King and Queen!
Laertes, who showed up for the funeral, is going back to France, while the
King persuades Fortinbras to go attack Poland instead. Everybody's happy,
except Hammy, who is dreary and depressed and wants to go back to
Wittenberg and generally wishes he would just die. At this point, Horatio
tells him about sighting the ghost.
Anyway, Laertes leaves, with a bit of sound advice from his father, and
Ophelia is twice told not to sleep around, particularly with Hamlet. Then
back to Hamlet again, who is about to see the ghost. This encounter lasts
the rest of Act One, and all we really learn is that Hamlet Sr. was
murdered by Claudius, his brother, who poured poison in his ear. Hamlet is
supposed to get revenge on Claudius, but not on Gertrude, who is to be left
to her guilt.
We move on to Polonius, who is arranging for someone to spy on Laertes. In
bursts Ophelia, who tells a tale of an uncouth Hamlet doing bizarre things
in her sewing room. Polonius, of course, decides that he (Hamlet) is in
love with her [6]. But that's okay, because some old chums of his,
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, have arrived, summoned by the King and Queen,
and are quickly commissioned to find out what the hell is wrong with
Hamlet. Once they've left, Polonius, absolutely giddy, comes in to
announce that he's saved the day, and determined why Hammy is being so odd:
he's in love with Ophelia.
Well, he's done a great job so far (yeah, right), so Polonius is sent to
confront Hamlet, which he does with very little tact, and ends up more
confused than before. So, we get the great blow-off to the question, "What
are you reading?" in Hamlet's line, "Words, words, words" and we move on to
round two: Hamlet versus Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. The two learn
nothing, but Hamlet finds out that they were ordered to visit. More
importantly, he learns of the arriving actors, who, amazingly, arrive.
Hamlet gives them a quick play to learn, and we find out about his plan:
in order to prove the ghost right or wrong, Hamlet has the players learn a
play which consists of the details of the murder as the ghost has given
them to him.
First thing's first. The Soliloquy, "To be, or not to be" and so forth.
Hamlet battles with the great questions of existence:
1) What happens when you die?
2) What's wrong with suicide?
3) Why is Ophelia suddenly here asking about the love letters I
sent her?
He doesn't answer the last one, because we already know it: she's bait for
Hamlet, sent by the King and Polonius. Whether because he knows they're
watching or because he's just plain looney [7], he really rips into her. He
ends up telling her to go be a nun [8], amongst other things, and makes a
thinly veiled threat to Claudius [9] before storming off. Maybe Polonius
was wrong after all.
A quick summary of the following is in order. They play goes on as
planned. Claudius proves his guilt and rushes off. Hamlet dallies long
enough to tell off Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, then Polonius, and leaves.
The King, furious, makes arrangements for Hamlet to go to England, then
sits, as though praying. Hamlet enters, sees this, and decides not to kill
him. Philanthropy? Nope. He's under the impression that if Claudius dies
while praying, he won't go to hell.
So he goes to see his mother, while Polonius hides behind a curtain and
watches. Hamlet really rails at her, then sees his father (she doesn't)
and talks to him. Finally, Polonius cries out, and Hamlet stabs him,
hoping to kill Claudius. Nope. So he wishes Mom goodnight and drags the
body away.
Well, everyone's going nuts. Polonius is dead, the Queen is in hysterics,
and neither Hamlet nor the body is to be found. When he's finally found,
the body is gone. When the King asks about it, we get this delightful bit:
King: Now, Hamlet, where's Polonius?
Hamlet: At supper.
King: At supper! Where?
Hamlet: Not where he eats, but where he is eaten: a certain convocation
of worms are e'en at him.
...
King: Where is Polonius?
Hamlet: In heaven; send thither to see; if your messenger find him not
there, seek him i' the other place yourself. But, indeed, if you
find him not within the month, you shall nose [10] him as you go up
the stairs into the lobby.
Well, now the King's pissed. Hamlet's going to England, all right. And
when he gets there, the letter the King sent contains instructions for
Hammy's head to be cut off. But before he leaves, he meets up with a
Captain of the Norwegian army who lets us know about the campaign in
Poland. They fight to conquer a piece of land (not worth five coins) which
the Poles have already hastened to defend [11]. Hamlet is away to England,
but alas, is attacked by pirates! Ophelia loses her mind and drowns
herself. And Laertes, newly returned from France, is absolutely boiling
over.
Hamlet returns, having hitched a ride with some pirates. He'd found the
letter, and replaced it with another telling the English King to execute
Rosencrantz and Guildernstern instead. He arrives in time for the scene
with the skull [12] and Ophelia's funeral, and he and Laertes get in a
fight.
With Hamlet alive and kicking, Claudius is concerned. So, he proposes the
following plan to Laertes: he and Hamlet have a fencing match. Laertes
will poison his sword, and Claudius will put poison in Hamlet's wine.
Either way, the poor prince is toast. The two fight, all right, but
somehow, the Queen drinks Hamlet's poison, Hamlet gets hit by the poisoned
sword, he gets hold of same sword and gets a hit on Laertes. The Queen
dies, Laertes confessed and dies, and Hamlet stabs the King and makes him
drink the rest of the poison. Finally, he dies also. Horatio is told to
tell everyone about it, the English ambassador returns to let the King know
that Hamlet's buddies have been executed, and Fortinbras shows up in time
to become King of Denmark. Happy ending? Hell, no. That's why it's
called a tragedy.
A few things to remember while in conversation. First, Hamlet's insanity.
Simply having opinion on it makes the average person look just a little
brighter. If they can back it up, that is. Second, Polonius can be
interpreted as either very wise or just an ass. I prefer the second, and
it is in fashion lately anyway. Third, Mel Gibson's version is not exactly
Hamlet. For one thing, it's shorter. The play runs about four hours to
Gibson's two, and the Mel Gibson version doesn't have Fortinbras in it,
either. It's good, and well done, but if you need to know the plot, then
you need to see or read the actual play. Things to remember include the
various scenes where Hamlet gets depressed ("To be or not to be",
remember?), his treatment of Ophelia, and that he was, by his own
admission, "indifferent honest". A rundown of his crimes, compared to
those of Claudius:
Hamlet:
1) Murder (Polonius)
2) Forgery
3) Murder (Rosencrantz)
4) Murder (Guildenstern)
5) Murder (Claudius)
As well as being absolutely horrible to Ophelia.
Claudius:
1) Murder (Hamlet, Sr.)
2) Accessory to murder (Hamlet)
3) Criminal negligence (Gertrude)
4) Attempted murder (Hamlet)
Pretty even, huh? One might find it amusing to point out that the only
reason that Hamlet is the good guy, and Claudius the bad guy is because
Claudius "started it."
[1] Hamlet, Macbeth, King Lear, and Othello.
[2] Okay, not the whole idea, but that's the big one.
[3] Hamlet Sr., Rosencrantz and Guildenstern [4], Horatio, Fortinbras,
Polonius, Laertes, and Ophelia, in that order.
[4] Or was it Guildenstern and Rosencrantz? Doesn't matter. They're dead.
[5] Bernardo and Francisco.
[6] For once, the old geezer's right.
[7] There's an active debate on this one. See later in the article for
more.
[8] Well, not exactly. The exact quote was, "Get thee to a nunnery!" Not
too much in and of itself, but remember: "nunnery" was slang back then
for "whorehouse."
[9] "Those that are married already, all but one, shall live"
[10] Smell. Do yourself a favor and don't wonder why you'd smell him in a
month.
[11] This is a good bit to bring up in discussions on Vietnam. And no, it
isn't an ethnic joke.
[12] You know, "Alas! Poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio". That one.