Santa Claus, The Privatisation Of

Don't You Wish You Were Part Of It?

This article is classified "Fictional"

Since last year's privatisation of Santa Claus, and the introduction of
competition into the traditional Christmas presents service, a report has
been produced by the government's Winter Seasonal Advisory Committee.  The
report recommends the following:

          1) A second Christmas be introduced in the middle of the year;
          2) Competition opened up to allow gas, electric, and water
             companies to tender bids for the remaining eight regional
             Santa monopolies, currently still controlled by the
             government;
          3) The separation of Santa Claus Plc [1] and "The Grotto",
             allowing presents to be obtained from any, ie. the cheapest,
             manufacturer;
          4) Deregulation and reduced regulation of any remaining
             monopolies to remove "restrictive" cost impositions,
             including:
                    a) The reduction of the value of presents-to-deliver
                       from twenty per cent of income to five per cent of
                       income; and
                    b) The abolition of timing restraints that unnecessarily
                       restricted delivery of presents to a few tight hours
                       on the morning of the twenty-fifth; and
          5) The removal of all that "fiddly" public accountability.

The government is expected to accept the report, after in-depth discussion
of the pros and cons, next week in a two minute meeting.

[1] Public Limited Company.  Basically a company owned by limited-liability
    shareholders.  The shares may be traded publicly.