Taco Moose

The Most Popular Fast-Food In The Universe

by Daniel J. Geduld (arken@bluemarble.net)
written 18 Dec 1996

This article is classified "Fictional"


Taco Moose Restaurants were founded millenia ago by Colonel Harlan MacDonald
on a small planet in the Southern spiral arm of the galaxy.  It has grown in
popularity over the years as the chain has spread its stores throughout the
universe.

The fast-food establishment's specialty, the Taco Moose Soft-Shell
Moose Taco, is made with the Colonel's Seven Secret Moose and Spices, real
shredded Moose Meat, synthetic vegetables, and the secret special Moose
sauce, all wrapped in a soft Moosey shell.  All of this "Moosey Goodness",
as the Colonel was fond of saying, has propelled Taco Moose into the
number one slot of intergalactic fast-food franchises.

The moose themselves are hand-reared on the planet Bulewenkel in the Crab
Nebula and only the choicest cuts make it to the restaurants, which hardly
matters as they are then dipped in 30-weight grease, fried for four hours,
reprocessed, reconstituted, regurgitated and reflavoured, and then sold for
a measly $0.98 to the consumer population.  The latest Galactic Department
of Health survey of the restaurant did not rate it highly.

Along with the Taco Moose Soft-shell Moose Taco, the restaurant offers its
special Back-Bacon Moose Fritters (the less said about these, the better)
and Moose Cola which tastes as if someone has run a pair of old high-school
gym clothes through a mulcher.  In a word, avoid the Taco Moose
establishments.  We know they're popular; we know that there's a free toy
inside every Moose Meal; we know that they have the $0.98 value menu; but
we also know about botulism.

Get the picture?

See also:
  • Fast Food
  • Fossilised Hamburger Of St Albert, The
  • Moose Watching

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