Fossilised Hamburger Of St Albert, The

Past Fast Food

by Aaron Rice (a.rice@ukonline.co.uk)
written 04 Jul 1996

This article is classified "Fictional"


St Albert was the site of a major archaeological dig that uncovered the
remains of what they now believe to be a 3,000 year-old hamburger.  The
area, in which no previous discoveries of this kind have been made, was
once thought to have housed an ancient marketplace.

The hamburger, though quite obviously inedible now, has been transferred to
a nearby research institute, where scientists are currently trying to unlock
its secrets, in the hope that they might one day be able to recreate the
burger as it once was.  Its external appearance seems to suggest that it had
been previously cooked several times, and thoroughly steamed to remove the
last vestiges of flavour [1].  Unfortunately, due to the very nature of the
discovery, bite-sized pieces of it have since began to go missing on a
regular basis.

The excavation still continues, at this time, as the encouragement of the
first discovery has urged many to believe that there is still more to be
found.  Their major hope is that we will, one day, discover how this ancient
civilisation actually lived and survived for so long, or if they survived at
all.

This discovery has been placed as the most significant since the great Pizza
of St Louis and the Milkshake of Staines, which now appear in the Museum of
Paris, displayed alongside other relics that are thought to have dated from
the same era.

[1] Much as many are, even today.

See also:
  • Cheese
  • Taco Moose

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