This article is classified "Fictional"
A towel, as has been stated before, is the single most important article a hitchhiker can carry. They are relatively inexpensive, portable, and rarely blow up unexpectedly. No self-respecting hitchhiker would be caught dead without his or her towel, though many not-so self-respecting hitchhikers often are. Say, for example, you're galloping along the shores of Mid Lumbar Lagoon on Gergbool, soaking up the gentle green rays of the twin Gergbool suns, exhilarating in the feel of the lean Boogabeast leaping beneath your boogasaddle, blinking away the warm, sticky-sweet sea foam, smiling at the thought of the gentle, gifted, and government-subsidized Gergboolian whores who await you back in Gergbool Prime. Life is good. You feel like the hoopiest frood to ever slap steel with a face-flannel. You reach for your trusty towel to wipe the warm blue sea foam from your brow, and you can't find it. Anywhere. Listen carefully while I say it again, "YOU CAN'T FIND IT." Your T-O-W-E-L. A-N-Y-W-H-E-R-E. What do you do? Panic. That's right, you heard me. Capital P-A-N-I-C. There's nothing else to do, really, and here's why. Since the very reason for knowing where your towel is involves the supposition that if you can actually keep track of your towel no matter what then you must have the situation, whatever the situation may be, under control, it is only logical to assume that if you can't find your towel things are going very, very badly for you. You are either already, or about to become, one very unhoopy frood. You are most likely going to die. You can pretty much throw the guide away at this point. Nothing in it, not even the cover, can help you now. Even this article is only supplied to try to take your mind off of what is no doubt going to be a very unpleasant time in your life, which I suppose it is not doing a very good job of. But hey, the guide is about information. This isn't a hand-holding service.