Holes

Excellent Storage Area, Or A Waste Of Space?

by Aaron Rice (a.rice@ukonline.co.uk)
written 25 Feb 1996

This article is classified "Partly real, partly fictional"


Holes come in many different shapes, sizes, and forms and they have been
observed by many people as the most astoundingly useful items in the whole
universe, allowing, as they do, anybody or anything to store away items in
safety or secrecy, or frequently, both.

Many holes, however, fall into another category:  hostile holes.  Hostile
holes are holes which, when formed, do not aid anybody in any way, but in
fact cause a lot more trouble themselves.  Examples of these are pot holes
and black holes.

It has been speculated by some that any form of hole whatsoever is in fact
a complete waste of space, and a fundamental design flaw -- in whatever
system they belong.  This is proven in the fact that wherever there's a
hole, there will also be items strewn all across adjacent open areas.

It has also been speculated that, if you put together the entire area of
wasted space from all empty holes in the universe, including every single
doughnut hole, you will have enough room to place another entire
civilisation, of a comparatively equal size to our own, which has led some
to believe that this is where the ultimate destiny of the universe lies.

Fascinatingly enough, it has been theorised that if you exclude the doughnut
holes, the overall size is reduced by a factor of two, while the mysterious
phenomena of black holes only make up a tiny proportion.

With these ideas in hand, it has yet to be proved that it is easier to lose
something in a doughnut than it is to lose it in a black hole.

See also:
  • Black Holes
  • Lost Property

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