Curry And The Ozone Layer

Be An Environmentalist And Abolish Vegetables

by Chris Grace (chris@transdata.co.nz)
written 17 Feb 1995

This article is classified "Partly real, partly fictional"


I believe that as environmentally conscious citizens of the world (TM) we
should be campaigning to have curry abolished.

As we all know, cow and sheep farts are some of the major contaminants of
the Ozone Layer and contributors to the greenhouse effect.

I respectfully submit that four pints of lager and a chicken biryani have
the cumulative effect of at least six sheep or one cow.  If you substitute
Draught Guinness for Lager things get even worse.

Bearing in mind that Curry dishes are widespread throughout Great Britain,
the Indian Subcontinent, and much of South East Asia, the overall damage
caused by these dishes is quite staggering (as is the damage to certain
mucous membranes the next morning).

We should also consider the impact of Haricot Beans in Tomato Sauce, Tacos,
Doner Kebab, and those little round lentil cake thingies they sell in Middle
Eastern Restaurants.

In fact, it is my considered opinion that Health Food Fanatics and
Vegetarians, by their selfish failure to adhere to a sensible diet of Roast 
Beef and Yorkshire Pudding, are contributing to the eventual ecological
disaster when the air temperature in Siberia will reach 60 degrees Celcius
and you will be able to eat Prawns straight out of the Sea without boiling
them first.

Let's get environmentally sensitive, and STAMP OUT VEGETABLES.

See also:
  • Ozone

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