This article is classified "Real"
Dirk van Deun, born in 1973, is a Caucasian male human who used to be a very cute baby. Now he is tall and slim, bespectacled, and perpetually in a terrible physical condition. Considering that he never wore a shirt and tie in his life, nor shaved, his personal appearance is really fairly decent. Dirk was born in Turnhout, Belgium and lived there full-time until he reached 18, performing very convincingly the classical role of the impopular smart kid, who gets high grades without trying, and can hardly wait until the time comes when school bullies turn into the people who shine your shoes, bake your hamburgers and collect your garbage. He had a few loyal friends; edited the school paper; kept boredom at bay by outsmarting his teachers; and put on a brilliant performance in the leading part of a school play without really knowing the words, although this rather confused his co-stars. At Brussels V.U.B. University he first graduated in Classical Philology, and then went on to study Computer Science, as the prospect of getting a job didn't yet appeal to him. Although avoiding boozing and initiation rites, he actually has a social life now, as on campus refusing to conform is no mortal sin. Thus he hopes to someday acquire the social skills needed to obtain a girlfriend. Dirk can play two concurrent games of Tetris with his two hands, but cannot carry a tune; he buys more books than he can ever read; founded the Order of the Knights of the Command Line; is a bleeding-hearted nigger-loving liberal; cannot dance; considers Northern Exposure the best long-running series ever made; speaks five languages but sometimes mixes them up. As for the rest, he is a militant atheist and a skilled polemist; he is kind to animals and little children although he hates them; he aspires to black-and-white film buff status; he enjoys learning but loathes examinations; reads Plato with mild amusement; is developing his own aesthetics of computer programming; and dislikes Italian food and cheese.