This article is classified "Real"
Hitchhiking is an exciting lifestyle. Hitchhikers travel around the globe, meeting interesting, new people; they find thrilling, new places to go, and take part in all kinds of fun activities (of which about three-quarters involve alcohol and/or partial nudity). These reasons are exactly why Hockessin, Delaware would be the last place a hitchhiker would ever voluntarily choose to visit. Nonetheless, many a hiker has found him/herself stuck in a boring place for an obscene amount of time, so I thought it wize to write this article. Hockessin (pronounced HOE-KESS-INN, I think it's Scandinavian or something) is a small town in the northern part of Delaware. For those hitchhikers who are not American, and have most likely never heard of the place, and for those who are American, and have most likely never heard of it either, it is a small state in the mid-Atlantic wedged between Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and Maryland. (Well, it isn't actually in the mid-Atlantic, it simply borders it.) It is famous only for its brief appearance in the movie "Wayne's World". Hockessin consists mainly of a single main street, Route 41 (the area around it is known laughingly as "downtown Hockessin"), and the surrounding suburban housing developments. Features -------- One of the first things a hiker will notice upon awakening to a Hockessin morning is a putrid stench quite similar to manure filling the air. This odor is the product of Hockessin's chief industry (well, only industry really), mushroom farming. The town is home to many of these farms, which are warehouse-like buildings filled with dung, and the result is an extremely pungent aroma that permeates Hockessin first thing in the morning, especially during the winter months. Unless you actually like to smell that sort of thing, try to stay inside until ten or eleven o'clock. Another feature of Hockessin that will become quickly apparent is the winding, intricate system of back roads used to get from one place to another. Although the town sports two or three well-lit, well-maintained streets, the majority of Hockessinites prefer to use the narrow, unlit, tree-lined roadways that snake their way through town. In addition, many of the drivers on these avenues tend to go at speeds that would make Mario Andretti blanch. Given the narrowness of the streets, lack of lighting, and aggressiveness of Hockessin drivers, trying to hitch a ride on a Hockessin back road at night is not recommended, since it will likely result in your being pulverized into road nachos. Tourist Attractions ------------------- None, see "Surrounding Area". Sites About Town ---------------- There aren't many things worth mentioning in Hockessin. First, there is "downtown" Hockessin, which centers entirely on a small stretch of Route 41 (one of the few well-lit streets mentioned above). This is where a hitchhiker will most likely find (or not) what he/she is looking for when passing through town. There are a couple of restaurants (see "Eating" below), a church, a convenience store, and other small shops that provide the sorts of things you would expect them to. There is also a police station, which used to be a library, which in turn used to be someone's house, and therefore looks nothing like any other police station anywhere on the east coast of the United States. Why Hockessin even needs a police station is a mystery that has yet to be explained. Nearby is a wide, empty grass field known as Swift Park. About a mile from Route 41 is a mini-mall called Lantana Square. Lantana is the newest development in Hockessin. Unlike other buildings in town which have been around for way too long (such as the above mentioned police station), Lantana is fairly new. Hockessinites may go there to make use of ultramodern conveniences such as dry cleaning and video rental. Finally, Hockessin is home to a llama farm. Although llamas are native to South America, not Hockessin, someone was willing to spend the effort and money to put together a llama farm here. This has yet to be explained. Places To Stay -------------- Unless you want to sleep on the grass in Swift Park, there aren't any. See "Surrounding Area". Eating In Hockessin ------------------- Worth mentioning right now is that there are no major fast food chain restaurants in Hockessin. Hitchhikers hoping to pick up a bucket of chicken from the Colonel's or grab a quick Whopper value meal will be sorely disappointed. There isn't even a McDonald's. There are, however, several decent restaurants in the Hockessin area, and for those hikers on a budget (in other words, all of them), there is still the Acme supermarket at Lantana Square. A good place to stop for a quick bite is Casapullas, on Route 41. They serve excellent subs and Philadelphia-style cheese steak sandwiches there, making it worth a visit. There are also a couple of pizza joints, namely Pat's and Valle's, both also on Route 41. Finally, for those hikers looking for a restaurant with a little more class, there is the Back Burner (on Route 41, although that's becoming redundant so I'll stop mentioning it). It is a bit pricey for a hitchhiker's budget, but has an excellent selection of entrees. The restaurant's specialty is pumpkin-mushroom soup, and I guess that might be good, if you're into that sort of thing. Entertainment ------------- None, really. See "Surrounding Area". There is only one bar to speak of in Hockessin, and that is M.R. Doc's, located on (yup, you guessed it) Route 41. It is adequate, and worth visiting maybe once. It even has live music some nights. For real entertainment, however, Hockessin just isn't the place to be. The fact that M.R. Doc's is located between a bank and a pet shop should say something. Surrounding Area ---------------- This is the interesting part of Hockessin. That is, outside of town. The small city of Newark is about 15 minutes away by car, and is slightly more interesting, although this is only because of its proximity to the University of Delaware. Being close to the university results in a higher concentration of bars in the area. Wilmington is the largest city in Delaware (with a whopping 71,000 people), and is around 20 minutes away by car. It too has a few more bars, and some places to stay, as well. In reality, however, the only real reason to travel to Newark or Wilmington from Hockessin is to get transportation out of state. Philadelphia, Baltimore, and Washington are all within a few hours' drive, and, most importantly, are much more froody than Delaware. Remember: when the chance to leave comes, grab it without hesitation, or you'll regret it later.