This article is classified "Real"
For the traveler who has at last rooted his or herself to one place, but
still needs to leave once in a while, the problem of leaving their telephone
alone when somebody might call can make things difficult when the modern
telephone on its own, is quite incapable of answering any calls itself [1].
This problem caused a group [2] to invent the "answer machine" or "answer
phone". This device, quite simply, will answer the phone after a decided
number of "rings", play a pre-recorded message to the caller, and then allow
them to leave a message. The two are normally separated by a sort of "beep"
noise.
Unfortunately, very few people have learned to deal with an answer phone,
and therefore sound quite muddled when at last they leave a message, if
indeed they do so at all. Examples of these muddles range from, "Oh,
I don't know how to use an answer phone," to the stuttered attempts at
conversation that some people feel compelled to voice, in the unlikely event
that the machine has somehow developed some real intelligence itself and is
spending its time pervading warm and comforting feeling while nodding
gently. A machine that can actually do this has yet to be invented.
Some people will discover that an answer phone is the best way to "filter"
their phone calls. The idea with this is that somebody will switch on their
answer phone while they are still indoors. When a call comes in, they will
listen and see if it's someone they want to talk to before they go through
any of the messy answering business. They will of course come unstuck
when an important caller decides that they haven't got time, or don't want
to leave a message, and simply hang up. This is a risk you take.
Of course, if you do have a large volume of similar calls, and are unable,
or simply unwilling, to sit down and listen to them as they come, an answer
phone can prove invaluable. In fact, many places now have answer phones to
play short informational messages to people if they call, perhaps listing a
time when someone will be there in person to talk to them.
More recently, some companies have realised that there is a market for
novelty answer phone message tapes, containing voices of major celebrities,
or of vocal artists imitating the same. It is difficult to know if someone
is taking the whole business particularly seriously if they use one of
these. The temptation is usually to take it as a joke, but it is
nevertheless interesting and fun to hear something different for a change
[3]. The possibility also exists that when you, say, are greeted by
pop-star Michael Jackson, that it may actually be the personality in
question [4].
[1] As things stand at this point.
[2] Or perhaps even a single person.
[3] Until everybody in the world buys the same tape.
[4] This will depend on the number you call, the location of the
personality, and their enthusiasm or ability to answer the phone. It's
always possible that you will be greeted by someone else with the same
name, in which case, you have an instant predictable topic of
conversation to start with.