This article is classified "Real"
The problem of speeding traffic has been very difficult to cope with, and
before recent times, would have been impossible without placing sections of
the local police [1] or a camera on every street corner. The results of
doing this would mean that resources would be severely depleted, and that
many members of the general public will realise that they cannot so much as
sneeze without being recorded, causing possible outrage at the blatant
invasion of privacy.
On the whole, the biggest problem with speeding is in built-up areas. It
can be very serious on suburban roads, where things seem quiet and the
opportunists' right foot is pushing the limit. Many people, including a lot
of children, have died or become seriously injured because of this, and
something had to be done.
The solution that was decided upon, was to place "speed bumps" (also known
in some parts as "sleeping policemen") onto the most susceptible roads.
Speed bumps can appear in several different forms, a particular favourite
being a reasonably steep bump that spans the entire width of the road. It
forces people to slow down, because it is very uncomfortable to drive over a
speed bump if you are traveling any more than a few miles-per-hour.
Another popular idea, however, is to save on costs by placing a singular
speed bump in the middle of each lane, which can prove particularly
ineffectual when a wide [2] car drives up and straddles it. Unfortunately,
as this form of speed bump becomes more and more popular, the general
effectiveness of speed-bumps on the whole is slowly diminished, to the point
where drivers begin to accelerate over them to demonstrate how smooth their
suspension system is.
In fact, any speed bump is rendered ineffective when approached by a driver
who has either no idea what effect it will have and doesn't care, or
has a firm idea of what it does and still doesn't care. Under these
circumstances, the driver will perhaps use the speed bump as a launching
point, to test theories speculated upon in many action movies where vehicles
are seen to fly after accelerating up a ramp. If you are on a bus whose
driver displays signs of being this sort of driver, it is recommended that
you check the validity of your life insurance. If you have a return
ticket, you are entitled to eat it [3].
Also, because of the appearance of speed bumps it has been a matter for
speculation whether someone of something has in fact been buried
underneath. This was dismissed by the leader of the last investigation,
who disappeared under mysterious circumstances [4].
[1] In fact, any group of law-abiding, criminal-spotting citizens will do,
but it's still impractical.
[2] Even small-ish cars enter this category in this instance.
[3] This is not compulsory.
[4] Actually, that is probably not true, but it seemed like a good idea at
the time.