Lost Property

Finders, Keepers

by Aaron Rice (a.rice@ukonline.co.uk)
written 06 May 1996

This article is classified "Real"


If ever there is a situation where panicking is the most appropriate thing
to do, it is after you have noticed you have lost something and you realise
you are unable to find it.

Property that is lost, will never be recovered, unless one of the following,
highly unlikely events have happened:  You have not lost something but you
have merely displaced it.  You have redefined the concept of "lost" by
asking everyone standing, for instance, in front of something huge, say, the
statue of liberty, to close their eyes and then stating:  "you can't see the
statue of liberty, therefore we have lost it" [1].  Even less likely is
being extremely fortunate and finding the lost property anyway.

Losing things can be very stressful, especially if the item or items in
question is or are very valuable.  Precious items are very difficult to
recover because when found, they will not usually be returned to their
rightful owner, and are regarded as a "lucky find" by their beneficiary.
If you have lost something valuable, the only way to recover it is to be
far luckier than anybody else in the relevant vicinity.

The only real safeguard against actually losing things is to keep your
property organised, to know where everything is, and to never put items in
unusual places.  This can contradict with the advice that anybody could give
on the topic of "protection from theft," and it is true that a fine balance
must be weighed.  However, if you lose something yourself, it's rarely
possible to claim it from your insurance company, unless they are composed
of that special breed of people for whom the word "stupid" was not
adequately defined to describe.

[1] Ed.:  Didn't David Copperfield do it this way?

See also:
  • Holes
  • Tunneling Theory Of Sock Disappearance
  • Drawing Conclusions

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