Car Alarms

For The Security Minded Or The Hopelessly Optimistic

by Aaron Rice (a.rice@ukonline.co.uk)
written 01 Apr 1996

This article is classified "Real"


What the world currently lacks in security, it makes up with a healthy,
or perhaps an unhealthy degree of stupidity.  The problems of theft and
vandalism have, for many years, caused much panic and distress throughout
the population, as more and more crimes of this nature have been committed.

To fight the specific area of car theft and vandalism, science gave us the
car alarm.  Unfortunately, it totally failed to perfect it, even in a small
way, before the market capitalised on the demand and gave the public what
they believed they wanted.

The major flaw in car alarms, as they stand, is that nobody has the faintest
idea how they should be adjusted, and so many car alarms are too sensitive,
and are triggered by so much as a mouse sneezing 200 metres away.  The rest
can withstand a major earthquake without even a single beep.

It is because of this, that when anybody actually hears a car alarm
sounding, their first thoughts are not, "Quick, quick, somebody's car is
being broken into!", but rather, "When is someone going to shut up that
bloody car alarm?"

Nevertheless, a car alarm is recognised as a good way to protect your car,
at least in part, as a car thief is generally recognised to steer clear of
loud noises in the course of his or her duty, on the grounds that it might
marginally increase the likelihood of detection.

See also:
  • Boomshanka

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