This article is classified "Real"
Comic shops are a world of their own. Comic shops in Kreuzberg doubly so.
If you spend a decent amount of time in them, indulging in fantastic stories
and exposing yourself to the incredible loud and nasty noise pumping out of
their sound system (like "Nine Inch Nails", "Smashing Pumpkins", "Rage
Against The Machine" etc.), your mind will warp into this artificial reality
the way it happens to "The Maxx" on MTV's Oddities. While this is fine as
long as you stay in the warm and protective environment of the comic shop,
it can really cause you trouble when stepping back out into the real world,
because you may not be ready to face it yet.
Potential dangers when leaving the shop:
1. Too much cold fresh air, resulting in oxygen overdose and
neural shock.
2. Dog shit on the sidewalk.
3. A kamikaze bike courier decides to take a shortcut -
*through you*.
4. Elderly women in fur coats vomiting onto the sidewalk right in
front of you.
5. Being cut by a double-decker bus: Berlin bus drivers have this
digital driving method: full throttle or screaming breaks.
6. The most wicked danger is the fact that Kreuzberg is an unusual
place itself, so you may not notice that you stepped back into
the real world until it's too late.
How to avoid these dangers:
1. Take along someone who doesn't fancy comics, and thus is
unaffected by the shop's magic to lead you out safely. His/her
constant complaining ("are we going to leave now?") may spoil
all your fun though. Even better: make an appointment with
such a person in 3 hours (like: "can you pick me up and get me
out of there safely?").
2. Buy a "Star Trek" shirt and a Phaser imitation. When leaving,
wear the shirt and wildly shoot your Phaser around. Shout:
"Mr. Worf, engage!". This will keep problems 3-6 away from you
or have them keep a respectable distance (may only work with at
least an officers rank shirt though).
3. Pull your t-shirt over your head and start acting like
Cornholio when walking out ("I am Cornholio! Are you
threatening me?"). As above, it works only with problems 3-6.
Read "Beavis & Butt-Head" comics, eat some candy bars and drink
espresso to give your performance the genuine touch.
4. Don't leave the shop at all. Ask the clerk for a job.