This article is classified "Real"
I used to think the following was unusual, but I've found out that damn near everyone does it, so this fun pastime may not be unknown to you. Take a hot bath and drain the tub. When it's empty, but still nice and warm, lie back and flatten your back against the bottom. You can feel all the air get pressed out from underneath your back as you push down, creating a vacuum -- a suction cup effect. Now you can begin to learn the art of tub-farting! You lift a tiny section of your back to get hissing sounds, a larger section to get pseudo-fudgies and pseudo-flutterblasts. I've even managed a couple of pseudo-trelblos and once performed a pseudo-follow-up- flooper. It really entertains the kiddies and it's fun to do by yourself. You can even read Revelation-X while pseudo-crepitating.