This article is classified "Partly real, partly fictional"
Matches. One of the greatest inventions of the culture of Earth, after the invention of the towel of course. It is rumored that matches were originally designed to help count boxing matches. That's where the name comes from. Counting works like this: add one match to a pile for each match played. After all the matches have been played, count the number of matches in the pile and if that number matches the number of matches which should have been played, the contest is over. If they don't match, well, that's your problem then. The idea of using matches to count boxing matches didn't get very much support from boxing match organisers around the world as they found out that using a normal calculator is much easier. Most hitchhikers have discovered other and better uses for matches, though. Matches can be used, for example, to get away pieces of food stuck in your teeth. You can also use them to draw a picture in sand. You can use a match as a lock pick. Sometimes you can use it to fix something that is broken, but not if it isn't. You can put a match into your eye. I'm not saying that is recommendable, though. Some even use them to make a fire. Actually there's some brown stuff on the other end of match to help it to fire. This use is very nice if you are in some Not-So-Safe Place (e.g. snake pit) where you would like to see something but somebody has turned all the lights off. Matches are sold in small boxes called match boxes. There are lots of different colours, lengths and styles of matches available. The most effective colour is brown. The picture on the match box doesn't actually matter so much.