Qwerty

Qwerty Made A Grammatical Correct Keyboard Into...

by Rickard Andersson (rickard@softlab.se)
written 23 Feb 1995

This article is classified "Partly real, partly fictional"


One day a very little known human being who we will call Qwerty,
mainly because that was his name, made an unfortunate mistake.  Mr
Qwerty worked at the big, indeed very big, well to be frank quite huge
and voluminous, company that designed and manufactured keyboards.  The
company, of course, did many other things than design and manufacture
keyboards.  They had lots of people doing research, marketing,
lobbying, accounting, lunches, sales, programming and many more of
these not so glamourous side-line occupations.  Mr Qwerty however was
working with the company's main product, keyboards.

So, one day when he was designing the new and ultra modern keyboard of
the future, something happened.  You have to remember that this was
happened a long time ago when the future was bright and hadn't
happened yet.  Back then the keyboards were more logically designed
thereby making them more dull and easy to use.

Well, to bring this subject one step forward, we now return to the day
when Mr Qwerty made his mistake.  He was, which has been mentioned
before, working on a design for a new keyboard.  Because of a terrible
hangover Qwerty wasn't paying to close attention to his work.  So when
he was supposed to deliver his newly made keyboard design to his boss,
he sadly fell down the stairs and crashed it on the floor.  All the
keys jumped out and he had to put them into his pocket.  When Qwerty
arrived at his boss's office, he just put the keys onto the keyboard and
for fun started to arrange the keys so that they would form his name.
He thought he should be recognised for his design and to see his own
name on the keyboard felt rather good.  After all he figured that his
new design wouldn't last more than one year.

The big, indeed very big, well much too oversized and multigalactic,
company started to produce the new Qwerty keyboard.  They used all the
expertise in their side-line occupations to sell the new design to the
galactic market.  When this new and hip keyboard was introduced, all
the smaller and not quite so successful companies thought they would
follow the trend.  Everyone started to use Qwerty's design on
their own keyboards.  After all, the big, indeed very big, well I
think you know how big I mean, company couldn't be wrong in marketing
this new keyboard, could they?  So, now we all how to use Mr Qwerty's
design whether we like it or not.

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