This article is classified "Real"
Getting to Amsterdam shouldn't be a problem. You can get there by boat,
ferry, train, plane, hitch-hike (both the Netherlands and Germany are
excellent hiking countries, probably the best in the world) or spaceship
(try to land in a park; everybody will think it's just some new objet
d'art). The problem is: how do you make optimal usage of your stay in the
hoopiest city of the world? Here are some tips to help you on your way...
When the sun is coming up
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If your body is screaming "AARRRGHH! I've been awake for the past 36 hours,
and I can't take it anymore, I just can't take it!!" at you, it might be a
good idea to return to your (youth) ho(s)tel and get some sleep. Otherwise,
the morning is a good time to do all the touristy things, because tourists
tend to have breakfast until about 10:30 in the morning.
* If it's *really* early, you could try to absorb some culture and
hit a museum. If you are lucky, you just might be able to sneak
past the guard when they're opening the museum. Otherwise just
show your student pass and get lots of discount. If it's late,
say 11:30 a.m., don't bother going to a museum unless you like
queues. Long queues.
* The morning is also a very good time to eat and drink. If you have
enough money, go to a supermarket. The leading and also most
expensive chain is called "Albert Hein" or "AH" for short. Your
best bet is the one behind the Dam (just get in a streetcar
("tram"), ask the conductor if he's going there, and 90% of the
time he'll say yes), opposite the "Magna Plaza" and Virgin.
* If you have little to no money at all and you could pass for a
student, you can get incredibly cheap and surprisingly good food
at the "Atrium", the Amsterdam University restaurant, which is
situated on the Kloveniersburgwal. If you're lucky, you can get a
student to borrow you his/her student card and get a discount
(also a good way to meet people). Neat, huh.
When the sun is high in the sky
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(or when it should be but you're not sure because it's obscured by dark
almost black rainclouds [1])
Ahhhh... you've had your culture, you've had your coffee: now it's time for
some serious exploring!
* If you don't already have a map, get one. The best ones are the
mid-sized books that are easy to search and you don't need a
football field for to unfold. Alternatively, if you're running
low on funds, go to the "AUB" office on the Leidseplein, and ask
if they have an "Amsterdam in One" booklet left; they usually do,
and it's usually free, because it's completely full of ads. This
contains an OK map with index.
* If you want to go 'shopping', or even actually buy something, here
are some stores etc:
* Magna Plaza (mentioned before): Lots of expensive clothes,
Virgin record store (free listening to music).
* Kalverstraat: *The* shopping street of Amsterdam. Again, lots
of clothes, but also other nice shops, including the American
Book Center where they sell Douglas Adams on large scales
(whee).
* Kalvertoren: "Toren" means "tower" and this is completely
inaccurate, as the kalvertoren is a shopping mall in the
kalverstraat. Check it out anyway.
* If you're a record freak, you can get extremely cheap and
sometimes rare records of all kinds at "Distortion",
Westerstraat, "Record Palace", Weteringschans 33 (near
Leidseplein), and "Concerto", Utrechtsestraat.
* "Coffee" shops: Do I need to tell you what you can buy here?
Not really. Avoid the conspicuous ones near the centre, as
they are often expensive and sell crap. 12 guilders for a gram
of weed is about normal. Please note that softdrugs are not
exactly *legal*: that is, you may have up to about 10 grams in
your posession if you're over 18. It's illegal to sell
softdrugs unless you own a coffee shop, and if you start
causing trouble, it's completely legal for the cops to throw
you in jail, even if you stick to these rules. In practice,
you can walk around even if you're a 15-year-old selling 50
gram bags on the street, but it's always a good idea anyway to
remember these rules.
* Explore! Look for the touristy sites in your travel guide (if
you have one). Amsterdam is a great city to walk around in. If
you are tired go to the Vondelpark and relax. Never be afraid to
ask natives for directions; they almost always speak English, and
are very friendly as long as you are.
The sun machine is coming down...
---------------------------------
You think had a great day? Are you preparing to get a good night's sleep
after an exilirating but tiring day? Forget it. Your day is just
beginning...
* Amsterdam is full of "movie houses"; inexpensive cinemas, where
you can begin the evening well with a nice movie (don't worry
about the language: most movies are shown in English with Dutch
subtitles).
* Drink/smoke: If you choose to intoxicate yourself this evening
(not a bad idea), it's best to choose between alcohol and
marihuana; one or two lagers won't hurt you, but if you're stoned,
it's a bad idea to start on the spirits, unless you're writing an
essay for the guide on the inside of toilet seats around the
world. NEVER MIX DRUGS. This is not only unpleasant, but can
also be very dangerous, especially if you take alcohol and some
other hard drug like XTC.
* Dancing: An extremely good idea, and a great way to meet other
beings. Some good places are:
* Dansen bij Jansen, Handboogstraat: Cafe/discoteque, ideal if
you're looking to meet someone of the opposite sex
* Odeon, singel 460: Student disco. All kinds of music.
Inexpensive.
* Melkweg (Milky Way), behind the Stadsschouwburg on the
Leidseplein. They usually have some band until about midnight,
then the party starts: hiphop, house, jungle. Somewhat
expensive.
* Paradiso, opposite Record palace, next to the Leidseplein.
Like the Milky Way, but they only have a disco when there is a
specific party.
* Mazzo, Rozengracht 114: Trendy discoteque. House, house,
triphop, hiphop, garage, ambient, house.
* Korsakoff, Lijbaansgracht 161: Cafe with a dancefloor. Lots
of alternative music (e.g. grunge, metal, hiphop).
* IT, Amstelstraat 24: Generally a bad idea. Officially a gay
disco, but the public is mostly insane, and more important,
sexually frustrated; don't be surprised by, shall we say,
extreme outfits. Stand by the entrance with a camera for
really shocking photographs of Amsterdam. [2]
* Roxy, singel 465: Only if you like jungle/drum&bass and only
on Sunday. The rest of the week it's bad disco where It-people
come to cool down for a bit.
When going out, bear in mind that the streetcars only ride until about 1AM!
This is one of the reasons why it's a good idea (especially if you plan to
stay longer) to rent a bike. This is inexpensive, doubly so if you planned
to actually pay for riding the streetcars, and much more convient then that
endless waiting for the tram. Don't worry about your safety: everyone in
Amsterdam rides a bicycle, and car drivers are used to paying attention to
clumsy tourists on bikes. What you should worry about, however, is the
safety of your bike; always lock it well with at least 2 locks, preferably
to a tree or railing. Never put your bike unattached near water; your bike
wouldn't be the first one to explore the wonders of being 10 kilos of iron
in a canal.
Epilogue
--------
This should be enough information for an extremely hoopy time in Amsterdam.
If you have any questions or suggestions, you can email me at [MAILTO
daob@dds.nl].
See you around!
[1] Did I tell you to never forget your umbrella?
[2] Roel van der Meulen adds, on 1st July 1999: However, a few days ago it
has burnt down, as a celebration for one of the recently deceased owners
or something. Let me rephrase that. A man died. There was a goodbye
party to, well, kinda say goodbye. There was the ingenious idea of
lighting fireworks indoors. There was the end result.