This article is classified "Real"
The world is full of religions. They all say something different, even the
nine hundred fifty-one different denominations of the Christian church
(denominations having been formed by a difference of opinion concerning
drinking vessels). As a result, some are going to be false. Most state
that those who don't believe what they have to say will end up doing
something unpleasant for all eternity, and since there's no real proof that
any religion is true or not, scaring people is an effective method of
conversion [1].
Since no religion can be proven, and people are gullible, it becomes easy to
start one for your very own. This is fairly easy to do, provided you have
some writing skill, a lot of charisma, and the ability to look straight into
the eyes of people and lie through your teeth.
One of the more important things required is some sort of religious writing.
This should be very long and start with a creation theory. After a while, a
moral code should be set down. It should also be long, and dull enough that
only a zealot would bother reading through it. After that, some stories
about how people who followed your moral code were blessed and people who
didn't died horribly.
You also need a main religious character. He can be a physical
manifestation of your god, or a prophet, or maybe just some guy who sat on a
rock and didn't use proper grammar. He should also be completely separate
from you, the founder of the religion. You have to make this character seem
inhumanly wise, or do something to make him the best at something and worth
worshipping, if you want anyone else to join in the religion with you.
So let's say your religion's based on Guddha. Write a long book about the
life of Guddha, and fill it with cheese references. Make your disciples
sacrifice expensive cheese two times a year. The full name of Guddha ends
up as `Guddha, God of Cheese and Propht of teh Geat Gpd Tpyo'. You end up
as Guddha's prophet, high priest, and treasurer. To lure people into your
place of worship, offer samples of cheeses on streetcorners and hand out
pamphlets promising `Peace and Promiscuity'. After you get a reasonably
large base of followers, you should move to Montana and begin stockpiling
automatic weapons to prepare for the end of the world. Announce that you
have achieved enlightenment, appoint a new high priest, and wander out,
ostensibly to `think about things'. Then take the money and run.
[1] So is subtracting 32 and multiplying by 5/9, but that's a completely
different sort of thing.