This article is classified "Real"
The art of "Putting your foot in it" is a great and noble one. It
combines timing, skill, dexterity and, in some cases, the ability to
withstand physical abuse. For centuries men [1] have been practising and
perfecting the ability to embarrass both themselves and others with split
second timing, precision and accuracy.
One of the earliest recorded incidents of this nature is detailed below.
Bishop Fisher and Sir Thomas More (1509)
----------------------------------------
Although this is one of the earliest recorded incidents it has to also be
one of quickest success stories. It concerns two heads of church and state
in 1509 who were very influential in the English royal court. King Henry
VIII had married his dead brother's ex-wife, Catherine, who was Spanish.
Through no fault of her own she had given birth to four girls, who
mysteriously died (whose fault was that I wonder?). Henry wasn't best
pleased about this for the simple reason that he wanted a son.
Catherine, at this time, was getting on a bit and as Henry needed to do
something quick, he hit on the idea of claiming that he never married her.
Henry asked the Pope to say that the marriage was invalid, but the Pope
wasn't too keen on committing himself. He then decided to make himself
head of the church to get around the Pope problem; this is where it all
went wrong for Fisher and More. Henry had to get permission from both of
them to do this and the reply given resulted in their deaths. They said
"No".
That's it! One simple word terminated both their lives in dramatic fashion
with More's head being stuck on a pole at London Bridge. This split second
act lead to the church being dissolved and several more lives lost to the
wrath of King Henry VIII.
A more modern example of "Putting your foot in it" follows.
The Ford Motor Company (1996)
-----------------------------
Ford has always tried to promote a good worker/highly paid executive
relationship within its own factories. The company produced a poster
depicting a cross section of its workers, multi-national and different
religious backgrounds. Everything was going swimmingly for Ford until they
decided to release an almost identical version of this poster for a foreign
brochure with all the black faces replaced by white ones. This created a
huge storm of protest and complaint and caused considerable embarrassment
for Ford and the robots who actually run the factories.
Conversation Stoppers
---------------------
By far and away the best way to put your foot in it is to embarrass
yourself and others in a crowded room. It helps if you do not know the
people you are embarrassing too well.
* "Really? And I thought you hadn't had the surgery yet!"
* (To a bad smoker's cough.) "That's a good sense of tumour
you've got there!" [2]
* "I've stopped taking the drugs now! I say stuff the neurotic
and violent tendencies."
* "Yes I know your husband was a good man and his death brings
sadness to us all. Oh by the way can I have the electric mower
back that he borrowed?"
* "What a huge nose you've got!" (Instant results.)
* "You're obviously a very talented individual! Do you talk
trash for a living?"
* "I'd love measure your ego, is it off the scale?"
* "I think you need a personality graft."
* "I'd set my dogs on you but I'm afraid that they'd get rabies
as a result of biting your leg."
In short the graceful and long established art of "Putting your foot in it"
is difficult to master but not always a desirable one.
[1] And indeed women, I don't want the PC liberation group on my phone
again.
[2] The Craig Charles Almanac Of Total Knowledge, Boxtree.