This article is classified "Real"
Agent Orange is a herbicide, and a subclass of the Dioxin family. Not
exactly the kind of family I'd like to come from. Its official names
include TCDD (which stands for a big long boring word I won't trifle with
[1]), and 2,4,5-T, and I have no idea what that means.
It's more commonly known under its code name, Agent Orange [2], and was
used by the U.S. military to defoliate (kill the plants) much of South
Vietnam in the Vietnam War.
Those Pentagon monkeys were just as hasty in those days, too, and released
it without too much testing. The stuff killed kazillions of animals, caused
miscarriages, and severe birth defects in Vietnamese kids.
But that's not all! It also caused the veterans of the war to get cancer,
and their children have a higher chance of genetic disorders. Unfortunately
for them, scientists were/are only able to prove 'Orange causes chloracne
[3], a skin disorder.
Its effects on lab animals (you know, rats) are different. It's so lethal
(deadly) that the "nice men in white" find it to be more toxic than, well,
most people's cooking. So bad, in fact, it was banned in 1979.
Today? Who knows? It is rumored it's still in laundry detergent, but
I don't believe it.
Use as an Alias
----------------
My use of it as an alias started not because I liked the sound of death and
destruction [4], although most names do come from this. I wanted Agent
Orange to be a man. In fact, my full alias is Agent Robert Orange, although
you'll never see that information printed anywhere else.
It was accepted, and was used on BBS' for quite some time (and still is).
However, once I was hooked up to the information superhighway, I was
saddened to see at least a few others used this alias. So I shortened it
(unofficially) to Orange [5].
The name Orange became synonymous with inane, wild ideas and web pages. My
fan fiction was creatively different, and at times my wit was superb. For
that reason, to "pull an orange" means to be quick with a comeback or do the
wildly different.
[1] Okay, I trifled with it. TCDD stands for tetrachlorodibenzo-p-dioxin,
though if you ever get asked that at school, sue the bastards.
[2] Don't ask me. As far as I know, it's not even orange.
[3] Yeah, it is a form of acne. Though it's much worse than conventional
zits. You know, Superzits!!
[4] I'm also not saying I don't like those names. (This means you, Napalm
Runner!!)
[5] You wouldn't believe the jokes I got about this for months. They
weren't very a-peeling...
Attached documents:
Mike "Gavin" Schmitt a.k.a. Agent Orange, with Beret
