This article is classified "Real"
Humans seem to be fascinated with a concept they call fast food.
The idea is not a bad one; walk into a restaurant tell them what you want,
get it, pay and start eating in less than 5 Earth minutes.
Strangely enough this seldom happens.
One enters one of these establishments, explains to the being behind the
counter that one wishes to have ground up pieces of a dead bovine heated up
until burnt, placed on a construct of ground grain, bovine breast-feeding
solution, dead animal or plant fat, avian embryonic fluid, and bacteria,
heated until fluffy and solid, with the usual condiments.
One also states that one wishes to have some tubers boiled in oil, and a
liquid infused with carbondioxide, saturated with sugar, containing a
caramel color and a drug know as caffeine.
One gives the serving being some green paper.
One waits, and waits and waits.
The restaurant being then tells you that if you sit down your sustenance
will be brought right to you in a few Earth minutes.
One waits. One waits more. One gets extremely hungry. One starts losing
mental function. One forgets where they, why they are here and what they
ordered. A being then brings your sustenance to you. You open up the plant
fiber wrappers and discover what they claim is your order.
You accept it and eat it reluctantly rather than go through this all again
as they try to correct your order.
There are other scenarios that may occur but eating fast food is simple if
you remember the following rules.
1. What you say you want is not what they hear you saying.
2. What you get is not what you ordered.
3. What you pay is more than the sum of the totals of the prices
of what you ordered.
4. Your food will be ready just as your patience runs out.
5. The food will not look as impressive on the plate as it did
in the picture.
6. The smiling people behind the counter are not really friendly.
7. The drink you want will not be available.
8. Anyone who does not look human will not be welcome.
9. Never use a restroom there unless absolutely necessary.
10. Never look to closely at your food.