This article is classified "Real"
Forget Base jumping, forget Stock Car racing, forget all the rest.
This is the real adrenaline rush. There are no safety nets, no crash
harnesses; its just you and a dozen rampaging bulls - oh, and of course
a few thousand other people doing the same thing!
First step - get to Pamplona during the San Fermin Festival.
Once you are there, head down to the town hall at around six am,
with a full bottle of Sangria. Don't try and get any sleep beforehand,
you won't need it! Hang out in the square, try to act calm, and
ignore the first twinges of "OHMYGODWHATTHEHELLAMIDOING". Around 7:00,
the barricade builders will start putting up the twin barricades.
Don't Panic [1].
On the build-up to 8:00, more and more people will crowd in. There is a
surface of calm, but you can feel the underlying tension. A few important
announcements [3] will be made, but Don't Panic [1]. Also, make sure you
finish the bottle of Sangria by about 7:30, and on no account appear
drunk, drugged or stupid, or you may not be allowed to run.
At 8:00, a cannon will sound. Don't Panic, as the first massive wave of
adrenaline hits your blood stream . The bulls are out, but they are a
long way away yet. A lot of people start running now, but you should stay
slouching nonchalantly in the square.
Then the second cannon sounds. Don't Panic [5], this means RUN LIKE HELL!
Adrenaline is now pumping full speed into your system, as the body
activates all fight-or-flight circuits [6]. If you sprint from here, you
can probably make it to the Bull Ring without seeing a bull. Run slowly,
and you risk trampling, maiming, and worst of all, missing out on getting
into the ring. The perfect speed is to get into the ring between the
first bull entering and the last bull entering, but the final corridor is
a hell-funnel packed with a solid [7] wall of bodies.
Once in the ring, you get the chance to play with even more bulls,
although much smaller ones. The aim of this game is to slap the bull on
the rump as it goes past, and for the real psychos amongst you, to jump
completely over the bulls back.
When this is all over, you will find that it is around 10:00, and
although you haven't had a wink of sleep, the adrenaline will last
throughout the day. Time to party!
Suggestions:
- If you are hit, tripped, or gored, lay down, if possible right
against the fence, and cover your head.
- If you panic, don't try and jump over the fence, as you will
probably get pushed right back in again.
- When you get in the ring, DON'T try to grab the bull by the
horns. The only thing worse than an enraged bull is an enraged
crowd of Spaniards.
- Ensure that you have good medical insurance, and it is probably
wise to make sure that your will is up to date.
[1] (yet) [2]
[2] I'm getting an adrenaline hit just writing this!
[3] The technical quality of these announcements is roughly
equivalent to a British Rail platform announcement. Rumour
has it that the announcements are in several different
languages, but they all come out like "Phnurdle foop plick.." [7]
[4] Apparently this translates to "Do not run if drunk or high, don't
run behind the bulls, don't run towards the bulls, don't distract
the race officials, you may need them."
[5] Oh, go on then PANIC!
[6] If possible, de-activate the "fight" circuits!
[7] Well, not so solid when you see the effect a ton and a half of bull
has on it.