This article is classified "Real"
The steps to getting on the America's Cup Bandwagon:
Requirements: - A home town with a port, preferably with lots of charm
and character.
Lots of spare cash [2].
- Lots of friends in the local government [3].
Procedure: - Find someone from your local town who can win the
America's Cup.
- When he wins, get your Prime Minister to say something like
"Anyone who sacks someone for not turning up to work tomorrow
is a mug".
- Buy lots of real-estate near the port, preferably including
several pubs with lots of charm and character [4].
- Remove any traces of charm and character, by gutting
the buildings, and filling them full of polished wood
floors, brass bar rails, and "quaint" yachting paraphernalia.
- Buy a brewery and name it after you [5].
- That's it, you're on the Bandwagon!
Pit-falls: - Be careful of [2] and [3], or you could wind up
as a Siberian scrap-metal merchant.
Alternatives: Hitchhikers with less ambition can simply make
cheap and tacky souvenirs with a yachty theme, and flog them
to American and Japanese tourists. Although a little lower profile,
it doesn't matter, you'll still be on the bandwagon.
[1] Just what is supposed to be 12 metres is not too clear. Evidently,
you need a pan-dimensional tape measure, that can measure length,
weight, marble-bathtub quantity and bribes, all at the same time.
[2] Not necessarily yours.
[3] Maybe they can help with [2]?
[4] For real pros, you can try this step first.
[5] Optional, and probably only possible if you actually win the
America's Cup yourself.