This article is classified "Real"
Here is how to catch crayfish, without the expense of buying boats
and obtaining licenses:
Requirements: A boat.
Somebody to own and drive aforementioned boat.
A way of being awake at four o'clock in the morning [1].
A little populated but productive crayfishing area.
Procedures: Get the boat owner drunk enough so that he will be reckless
and devil-may-care, but not so drunk that he will sink the boat on the
first available reef. Simply drive around in the boat, pulling up
all the cray pots that you can find, and emptying them of all crayfish,
irrespective of size, colour or sex.
Pitfalls: While the above procedures are not illegal[2], getting caught
doing them IS. A certain fat police sergeant had been condemned to
life [3] for the heinous crime of being caught doing this.
It is also a terribly bad idea to head down to the local Cray-fisherman's
bar in the evening, and start off in a loud voice "Hey, guess what I did
this morning!"
[1] Hitchhiker's recommendation is simply not to go to sleep.
[2] Well, maybe a bit. OK, quite a lot really.
[3] As a fat police sergeant.