This article is classified "Fictional"
Chain letters are letters that possess many of the characteristics of living organisms. They eat people's energy, their address list changes, and they reproduce. It is for this reason that many biologists working for the Galactic Postal Service have classified them as a living species, Letterus chainus. This theory is known as the Living Letter Theory. Chain letters are believed to have evolved as a parasite on a small planet orbiting a star in the Orion Nebula. Using bribes of good fortune, they were able to get their host, a now-extinct Zquackle-descended life form, to beam them to other planets. They have used similar methods to spread throughout the galaxy. Chain letters have caused the extinction of many sentient life forms throughout the galaxy. Among these are the Mechanical Pencils of Tau Ceti VI, the Small Furry Creatures of Proxima Centauri III, and the Grass of Epsilon II. Currently, the life forms of the galaxy are attempting to exterminate this little-noticed but dangerous animal. Chain letters have been outlawed throughout the galaxy, but we are still not safe. Chain letters possess their unsuspecting hosts, causing them to be a mere tool in their reproduction process. Do not let this happen to you! Among the signs of possession are: 1) Going without sleep for over 48 hours 2) Severe eye strain 3) Severe wrist strain 4) Unquestioning obedience to superiors 5) An urge to hitchhike on a pair of coconuts If you are experiencing one or more of these signs, see your doctor immediately. Possession by a chain letter can be fatal!