This article is classified "Fictional"
In the great stories of olden days, terrific battles were fought between heroes of gigantic stature and monsters of hideous proportions. These contests were described in loving detail by the blood-thirsty story-tellers, and cheered on heartily by the even more blood-thirsty audiences. But before the hero could meet the monster for the final battle, there were always some little tasks that had to be carried out. More likely than not, these tasks were set out by a wizard of one sort or another whom the hero had consulted. The tasks that the wizard would set out almost invariably involved the hero seducing some unsuspecting maiden and absconding with her father's sword. Psychiatrists, of course, just eat this right up. "Ahhh," they say. "Yes, very interesting. VERY interesting." They smile knowingly and nod at each other, and write little notes in their little note-books whenever someone mentions having enjoyed one of these stories or identifying with one or the other of the characters or uses the word "abscond." "Yes, um-hmm. Very interesting." Having retreived the sword, the hero would take it to the wizard, who would examine it and pronounce it the perfect instrument for the destruction of the beast. Of course the examination would involve some magical incantations, for which the wizard would pull out a large staff. Once again, the psychiatrists smile and nod, and make little notes. So our hero takes his stolen sword and has the great final battle with the horrible beast. Several of the hero's followers are trampled to death before the battle is over, and large tracts of real estate destroyed. And when the battle is over, the wizard claims all the land covered by the blood of the beast, saying that it is enchanted. Later he will sell it to some psychiatrist at an obscene profit, and the doctor will build a hospital and get rich treating traumatised heroes and fathers of seduced daughters. Sorry for the abrupt ending, it's time for my therapy....