This article is classified "Fictional"
Mars and the many cultures therein, although enlightened, have some weird
quirks. Among them is the taxi hailing ritual. Practiced chiefly in the
larger cities of the A'Grumpf'yo ("Wily-Speckled moose-like creatures that
smell of fruit"), it is inevitably a surprise to tourists and rarely
executed the correct way.
The A'Grumpf'yo people believe that a sacrifice must be made to the Martian
god of taxis, Moo. The proper procedure is to sacrifice a small salad on
the side of the road; this is done by dousing it with gasoline and igniting
it, then beating it to a pulp with a stick. Although it seems odd to
attempt to sacrifice a salad, which is clearly not a living entity (anymore),
this fact is either lost to the Martians or they refuse to acknowledge it
due to the strength of tradition.
A taxi driver, upon seeing a potential customer waving the maimed salad,
pulls over and the second part of the ritual agreement begins. The
customer-to-be dons the salad bowl (on his head), sits on the top of the
cab and moos his appreciation to the god Moo; the taxi driver pops the
hood of the car and "feeds" the salad sacrifice to the automobile by
stuffing it in a special tank made for that purpose, which distributes the
scent of the salad incense throughout the vehicle, which supposedly is
found pleasing by Moo. Gifts are exchanged between the driver and
customer, at which point the driver proceeds to take the customer to his
destination.