Recreational Impossibilities

Fun And Games For The Improbable Sports Enthusiast

by Jeremy Goldman (Jeremy Goldman)
written 02 May 1987

This article is classified "Fictional"


In the universe, there are several things that are considered Recreational
Impossibilities (depending on your species of course) that people try doing
to relive their boredom.  If you are one of those rich kids who are tired of
doing silly things such as being a teaser, here's something new.

These listings are in the Guide somewhere, so don't panic.

         1. Flying - one of the most popular Recreational Impossibilities.

         2. Walking Through Mountains - Now this is a hard one.  But look it
            up anyway.

         3. Trying To Get The Brantisvogan Civil Service To Acknowledge A
            Change of Address - Boffo

         4. Learning To Play The Octaventral Heebiephone - Since this is
            only possible if you have eight mouths, a pleasantly futile
            task.

         5. Surviving Within A Five-Mile Radius Of A Disaster Area Concert
            - see Disaster Area

         6. Reading Vogon Poetry Without Going Mad - Hoo boy.  See poetry.

         7. Surviving A Whelk's Chance In A Supernova - Don't mind the
            Whelk.

         8. Learning All The Languages In The Galaxy - Listen up you
            immortals!  Here's something to get your mind off things.

         9. Trying To Become Immortal - Many people have ended up looking
            very silly, or very dead, or both, trying this.  See Immortals.

         10. Figuring Out The Question To The Answer To Life The Universe
             And Everything - good luck!

         11. Trying To Pay With An American Express Card - Don't try this in
             the Old Pink Dog bar.

         12. Surviving Any Of The Above - Don't ask why, but if you are
             bored, anything will do.

See also:
  • Thirty-Seven Ways To Deep Sea Fish With Four Feet Of Dental Floss
  • Walking Through Mountains
  • Swimming With Clothes On
  • Jupiter, Sol 5

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