Personal Stereos

Musical Equipment For Fun And Fornication

by Alex McLintock (alex@arcfan.demon.co.uk)
written 21 May 1995

This article is classified "Partly real, partly fictional"


Personal Stereos are used as sex aids on some worlds [1], but banned on
others as socially unacceptable, because they damage hearing,
conversational skills and look silly.

Major features of Personal Stereos include a shiny black metal finish
for technofetishists, rubber and metal cable for bondage freaks, and for
body piercing fans earphones which are held in place by earrings - or
alternatively earphones which are actually embedded in the earlobe.  It
is unadvisable to lubricate your personal stereo with anything other
than isotonic alcohol (the rubber parts only) or "Three-In-One Handy Oil"
(the metal parts only).  Vaseline is prohibited.

[1] Their key sexual characteristics include:
          1. A small motor which vibrates the bodywork,
          2. Two earphones - one for each partner,
          3. Music containing sexually explicit lyrics in order to help
             young people learn what to do.

See also:
  • McLintock, Alexander Lachlan
  • Mobile Phones
  • Hearing Aid, Cheap

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