This article is classified "Partly real, partly fictional"
The inhabitants of Earth invented a lot of things, some of them useful:
they invented the making of fire (also known as matches, lighters, zippos,
and flamethrowers). They invented printing -- matrix printing, laser
printing. They also invented a pretty useless thing called a speeding
ticket. Nobody likes them, but they exist. It seems that on Earth,
everything that is disliked and unpopular is very common, too.
But the most useless thing Earthlings invented are abbreviations!
Abbreviation is a method of making easily understandable words, names, and
phrases more complex and confusing by using only the first, second, third,
the first and second, the first and third, the second and third, the second
and fourth letter (or any other variation) of the word the writer refers to.
Sometimes completely different letters are being used which don't show up
at all in the original words.
Some examples:
DOS = Disk Operating System
3.5" MF 2HD = Double Density 3.5 inch disks.
(Nobody knows what MF means; it might mean
"mainframe" or a very, very vulgar curse; maybe
MF stands for malfunction or maybe even for Marty
Feldman.)
FYI = For Your Information
BTW = By The Way
IUFOWTMUMBARG = If you find out what this means you must be a
real genius!
A lot of studies about abbreviations were made in the most famous and
best-known universities of the galaxy. Even the "UBAFUF" (Unbelievingly
Big and Famous University, Fronkle System) dealt with this phenomenon.
A study about these studies revealed that they took 564325 man-years
altogether to get written.
The only matter which was dealt with for a longer period of time altogether
were the studies about "The Origin of Stupidity." The essential conclusion
made in all studies about abbreviations is:
Abbreviations are useless.
If you can prove the opposite, please contact the author ASAP!!!