This article is classified "Partly real, partly fictional"
The ladies' room has always been much of a mystery to humans (Earth) of
the male persuasion. Many questions have appeared over history, but none
so burning as how do so many of them fit into such a tiny space?
Dr Steven Moore, in his book Transdimensionalism and the Ladies' Room:
Warp Lanes to Infinity, traces the history of mans' search to reveal
the truth:
If one has ever been to a restaurant with a group of friends, a
sizeable quantity of which are female, then one must surely
notice that, at some point, all of the women will get up and
migrate to the ladies' room for some reason totally
incomprehensible to any man. But what is utterly baffling
is how so many people can fit themselves into such a small space
with no apparent discomfort. Many theories have been proposed,
however, in an attempt to explain this bizarre phenomenon.
One famous early hypothesis, proposed by the late Dr. Sergei
Ivanovich Sarkonov, states that the lighting and arrangement of
mirrors in the powder room makes it appear smaller than it really
is. Unfortunately, after a daring expedition made by a group of
all-male scientists into a typical ladies' room in 1905, this
theory was struck down through careful observation and study of
the lights and mirrors. They concluded that the room really was
as cramped as it looked, and the "Powder Room Puzzle," as it was
now known, became one of the greatest scientific dilemmas of all
time.
In the early 1940's, however, after Einstein's concept of
relativity became popular among theoretical scientists, one
young, fresh mind, Dr. Georg Schlaufel from the University of
Berlin, conjectured that there was a confined disturbance in the
Time-Space Continuum in each of these locations, allowing,
somehow, more people to fit into a smaller space than previously
thought possible. However, this line of thought was ill-fated,
as Dr. Schlaufel was drafted into Germany's war machine and was
killed shortly thereafter in the destruction of Berlin by the
Allies. As he was the only one able to read his handwriting, his
theory, unable to be understood by anyone living at the time,
was soon forgotten.
With the advent of the third-generation supercomputer and
superstring theory in the mid-eighties, modern physics has been
able once more to delve into the mysteries of the ladies' room.
Robert Matthews, a computer programmer for the National Center
for Supercomputing Research, after nearly a dozen years of
research and tedious programming, managed to write a simulation
program that attempted to describe what actually occurs when
large numbers of people filter into the women's restroom.
He found that the time-space continuum is actually compressed in
small pockets, all of which amazingly seem to coincide with the
placement of ladies' restrooms, and that after the capacity of a
bathroom is reached, any additional people entering the room
appear to occupy the same point in the continuum as the people
already in the restroom. Of course, this is mere illusion,
because as it turns out, the room is actually dimensional
transcendental: it contains more space than it occupies.
Unfortunately, the government soon found out about this
interesting phenomenon and obstructed the publication of
Matthews' findings for national security reasons. However, the
information leaked out of NASA and other government agencies.
The public, through the media, became acutely aware that a
ground-breaking discovery had been made, and they petitioned the
government to make public the information. With the passing of
the Freedom of Information Act in 1990, the mind-bending truth
was revealed to the populace, and physics as we knew it was
changed forever.