This article is classified "Partly real, partly fictional"
After reading in the Guide about the Terran Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster (PGGB), I have decided to design my own Non-Alcoholic version for the younger fans, of which I happen to belong. My brother helped in the creation of this article, and he wants to be mentioned. (Hi, Ian!) So here we go: 1) Take the liquid from any clear soda you have available, because you will see everything clearly after this drink. Cherry flavoring enhances the savor of the drink. 2) Slowly pour in blue coloring for a wonderful color, because seeing is always believing. (This is optional, in case you don't have any food coloring.) 3) Let Coke, Pepsi, or whatever you prefer, run into the mixture. Be mesmerized by the spreading blackness like the black holes of space. 4) Speedily stirring the mixture, add orange juice in honor of the brave oranges who died to give you this drink. Revel in the circular logic of this statement. 5) Over the back of a silver spoon, spill a spoonful of sugar, in commemoration of all the hyperactive children in the galaxy. Rubberize your walls, for you shall be bouncing off of them. 6) Drop in a single chocolate chip. This does not add much to the flavor, but it is a treat for the end. 7) Finally, sprinkle Gatorade over the mixture. Let the complex carbohydrates and replenishing minerals confuse your mind with their utter uselessness, even though everybody thinks they help. Now you have the drink, and you are in the correct frame of mind to drink it, if you followed all the instructions up to now. Drink carefully. Drink some more carefully. The hell with carefulness, just drink it. Enjoy.