Mercury, Sol 1

What's There To Do On Mercury

by Roel van der Meulen (vdmeulen@strw.leidenuniv.nl)
written 17 Jul 1994

This article is classified "Partly real, partly fictional"


Mercury is the ultimate place in our solar system to get a nice tan.  Some
88 sunny days a year is the everlasting weather forecast.  Remember to bring
along your sunblock factor 25,000 or you will involuntarily experience
that all man are equal on Mercury.  That is in fact the second attraction
of the planet.  No racism at all, for all non-sunblock-users turn into a
crispy black.

Mercury is also the secret hiding place of Farookh Bulsara, former
lead singer of the famous rock band "Queen."  In contrary to the widespread
belief he has died of AIDS, he has really been abducted by aliens.

The favorite pastime of people on Mercury is to, after a long day (58.6
Earth days) of lying on the beach (covering almost the whole planet), have
a barbecue and maybe later on, skate on the crater-wide ice rinks at the
poles.

A pity though that there are no bars, no cafe's, or whatever on Mercury
to get the so much needed refreshment.  No glasses to put ice cubes in
either.

This leaves Mercury the perfect place to end your life, because without
drinks you'll very soon start drinking your sunblock, and faster than you
can say "chocolate covered doughnut" you'll turn into one.

See also:
  • Sun, The
  • Earth
  • Westerbork Array, Westerbork, Drenthe, Netherlands, Earth
  • Venus, Sol 2

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