Winning The Lottery

A Possible, But Not Recommended, Way To Get Money

by Captured from the Usenet Oracle (Captured from the Usenet Oracle)
written 03 Jul 1994

This article is classified "Partly real, partly fictional"


This question was posted to the Usenet Oracle:

     What is the best way to win the lottery?

     Please tell me so I can buy more computers to bombard you with
     questions.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

     The mathematical truth is, all combinations of numbers are equally
     likely.  Despite this, nobody ever plays 1-2-3-4-5-6.  Everyone says
     it's STUPID and will NEVER WIN!  So, although you only have the same
     chance as everyone else, if you play 1-2-3-4-5-6 and win, you won't
     have to split the pot!

     On a second note, never play Quick-Pick numbers.  Think about it:

          1) People are lazy.
          2) People designed computers.
          3) Therefore, computers are lazy.
          4) Computers pick Quick Pick numbers.
          5) Lots of people come in and ask for Quick Pick.
          6) Think about it:  If you were the computer, would you come up
             with a different number for each person?

     Therefore, all Quick-Pick numbers are generally the same, except in
     states where this practice is outlawed by law, in which case only MOST
     of the Quick-Pick numbers are identical.

     You owe the Oracle 30% of your winnings.

Go to [Root page | Title list | Author list | Date list | Index]