This article is classified "Partly real, partly fictional"
Trenchcoats are hoopy. Black trenchcoats are especially hoopy. Because they look smart. Trenchcoats - no matter whether they are black or not - are also astonishingly practical items. They provide excellent protection against almost any kind of weather, being impenetrable by both wind and water. It may also serve as a sheet when sleeping in the cold, or, more general, as a proper substitute for a towel in some situations. A trenchcoat, however, is not a towel and cannot substitute a towel properly in most situations, which again demonstrates how important it is to know where your towel is, even if you know where your trenchcoat is. There are other uses for a trenchcoat. You can wear it when swimming in cold water, for instance. You can hide a sword, a gun, or several other kinds of secret items beneath it. (A very common application often shown in movies.) A black trenchcoat, if worn in a proper, hoopy way, may be useful if you want, for some odd reason, to be mistaken for a progressive rock singer. However, it is not really clear why these beasts are called trenchcoats. One rumor states, that they are named like that because soldiers in the trenches of World War I wore them. This is, however, a quite unhoopy theory. A more hoopy theory states that the trenchcoat is named after its inventor, William Frederick Trench. William Frederick Trench was a very hoopy guy living in the early 20th century somewhere near Bournemouth, England. He liked swimming in the sea very much, but found that the sea water was too cold for the most time of the year. He did several experiments. He tried putting on two bathing suits, one over the other, but it did not work. He tried putting on one of the heavy woolen overcoats which were in use at those times, but it did not work either. The overcoat was too heavy. So he went to a local tailor to have a light, waterproof overcoat made. This overcoat served its purpose very well. However, Mr. Trench did not only wear it when swimming in the sea, but also on other occasions. Many people liked it so much that they themselves had such an overcoat made (though they did not intend to use it for swimming). Thus, the trenchcoat was born. But don't think that everyone who wears a trenchcoat is hoopy. Don't even think so if the trenchcoat is black. And don't think that everyone who wears a black trenchcoat is a progressive rock singer.