This article is classified "Partly real, partly fictional"
There are two steps to moose watching. The first, of course is obtaining a moose. The second, not obvious only to a blithering idiot, is to watch the damn thing. Obtaining a moose tends to be difficult, unless one happens to live next door to you. Since most of us, especially those of us in Ursa Minor, don't have the convenience of having a moose as a neighbor, we advise you to give up this ridiculous hobby now. Moose (pl.) tend to be the most boring creatures in creation, and they just look all wrong anyway. Anyone who has ever seen a moose will know what we are talking about. Watching them just stand there, for instance, they look even more awkward than a man sent to the grocery store for tampons, or even worse, styling mousse. Which brings us to our next point. No, it is not, I repeat NOT, considered moose watching to buy some mousse in a grocery store, to set it in some natural-looking surroundings, and to watch it. Nothin' doin'. It is often more rewarding than watching the carbon-based life-form of the same pronunciation, however. Seeing as most beings do not look at mousse, but smear it in their hair, we suggest not even considering watching it for obvious reasons. For example, if one was to get their moose/mousse mixed up, and tried to rub moose in their hair, well, it just might work better than mousse and then you would just find humans hunting the awkward creatures to extinction in hopes of a fast buck (no pun intended, we swear). Then they would be lost to probing eyes everywhere. Anyway, just knock the beast over its head and drag it to a field. Go lay in some concealing shrubbery and wait for it to regain consciousness. Then lay back and enjoy as the moose stumbles about, trying to stand up despite the head injury you've inflicted. According to The Official Moose Watcher's Guidebook, it is perfectly okay to use all of your eyes to watch the moose stumble around.