This article is classified "Partly real, partly fictional"
Now why would anyone want to steal a library? It's not a particularly useful piece of architecture, if you're not inclined to reading (as all of the more notorious criminals are not). It won't do as a discotheque because the rather severe looking old ladies who inhabit it would be constantly shushing the band. You can't turn it into an Italian restaurant because of the strict "No Food" rules. (Were you to violate this rule the little old ladies would not stop at mere shushing. They would quickly escalate to tut-tutting and shortly thereafter to violent huffing. Before long the place would sound like an asthmatic in an echo chamber and that would put you right off your lunch.) Not only is the building useless, but it would be difficult to abscond with. They are usually rather large and so cannot be slipped into the inner coat pocket, nor even the outer coat pockets of the Titans (had the Titans even worn coats, which is doubtful since they lived back in the days when people were proud to stand out in the cold and say "It doesn't bother me one bit that the icy wind is cutting through my thin garments and chilling me to the bone, nor that the freezing rain is covering my body and forming icicles on my chin and nose (and other parts of me that shall remain nameless), for I am a Titan, and we laugh at discomfort and thrill to pain and generally live short and squalid lives.") Libraries are also usually made of stone (pre-victorian buildings that no one could think of anything useful to do with), or of brick (a material that wins big in the upkeep department but generally inspires onlookers to say "Yech. What a horribly ugly building. Shouldn't something be done to spruce it up, like maybe covering it with a landfill site or aluminum siding?"). These materials are very heavy and thus should only be placed in specially re-enforced containers such as dry-docks or fruit-cake tins. It is for these reasons that there has only ever been one library theft ring in the history of the galaxy. Ooblig Rastablaghan (of the Oogarieth V Rastablaghans) masterminded the theft of seven hundred libraries from the planet Malik IX. The crime was particularly pointless, because the people of Malik IX do not have any language, and thus no books (thus any vacant building on Malik IX is automatically designated a library (the Malixians, while not having language, do have a highly developed system of mathematics, and take the concept of "vacuously true" very seriously)). The theft was only discovered when the buildings were required to meet the increasing demand for shoe stores. The perpetrator was arrested, but Malik IX passed the shoe event horizon before he could be tried. Ooblig is still in custody on the prison planet Malik VIII. His lawyers have prepared a writ of habeas corpus, but it cannot be filed until a new civilization arises on Malik IX to deal with it. When asked why he had done it, Ooblig replied: "Yeah, well, you know." The questioner was immediately arrested as an accomplice and shares Ooblig's cell on Malik VIII.