Australia, Earth

A Short Look At Australia, Earth

by Daniel Bowen (daniel@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au)
written 25 Jun 1992

This article is classified "Partly real, partly fictional"


While Australia, Earth, is well known by many humans as being the home
of the "Crocodile Dundee" movies, most Australians know Australia as
being the place where they live, or the place where they come from.

A famous writer, the name of which is insignificant, and un-remembered,
once wrote of Australia:

          I love a sunburnt country,
          A land of sweeping plains,
          Of rugged mountain ranges, 
          Of droughts, and flooding rains.

While this may not be a work of literary genius, or take into account
the very high proportion of Australians who prefer to live in sprawling
cities than in sweeping plains or mountain ranges, it is remarkable how
the first three lines align like that, isn't it?

Amongst the leagues of completely unknown and unimportant Australians
are some well-known and unimportant ones, such as (in no apparent
order):

          1) Paul Hogan - alleged actor and wife-deserter
          2) Clive James - humorist who prefers living in Britain
          3) Nicole Kidman - actress who married Tom Cruise and
             subsequently found a Hollywood career
          4) Elle MacPherson - bimbo
          5) Mel Gibson - alleged actor II
          6) Greg Norman - Australian golfer with an American accent
          7) Peter Garrett (of Midnight Oil) - bald singer who can't
             dance
          8) Michael Hutchence (of INXS) - hairy singer
          9) Kylie Minogue - bimbo singer and bad soapie actress
          10) Olivia Newton John - former bimbo singer and "Grease"
              star.  Ugh.
          11) Peter Allen - bad cabaret singer, whose singing improved
              remarkably when he died in 1992
          12) the entire casts of "Neighbors," "Home and Away," "A
              Country Practice," "Young Doctors," and "Prisoner," all of
              whom have terrorized Great Britain for some time now with
              their cheap and very bad soap operas

This list has only included a few people.  There are about seventeen
million more.  If you are thinking of joining them (i.e., immigrating, from
either another country on Earth, or from somewhere else in the galaxy),
think twice.  Then do it anyway.

See also:
  • Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, Earth
  • Earth
  • University Of Western Sydney, New South Wales, Australia, Earth
  • Pubs Of Carlton/Fitzroy/Parkville, Melbourne, Australia, Earth
  • Cairns, Queensland, Australia, Earth
  • New Zealand, Earth
  • Nimbin, New South Wales, Australia, Earth
  • Fast Eddies, Perth, Western Australia, Earth
  • York Jazz Festival, York, Western Australia, Earth
  • Walla

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