Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, Earth

A Non-Tourist's View Of Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, Earth

by Daniel Bowen (daniel@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au)
written 24 Jun 1992

This article is classified "Partly real, partly fictional"


Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, Earth, is in Australia, on Earth, which 
partially if not totally accounts for its name as such.  Melbourne,
Victoria, Australia (we shall avoid overuse of the term "Earth" as it tends 
to confuse locals from that particular neck-of-the-galaxy), should not be
confused with Melbourne, Florida, USA.  Melbourne, Florida was actually 
named after Melbourne, Victoria, Australia by a local of the latter.

Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, was in turn named after a certain member of
the British aristocracy of the 1800's (Earth time) named Lord Melbourne.
This may be of no consequence whatsoever, but certain historical
experts have debated this fact, and maintain that as their jobs depend
on it, it is important for historical facts such as this to be
preserved until at least tea-time.

Melbourne is a little bit famous for its trams, which can confuse it at
first glance with Seattle, Washington, USA.  This is because Seattle
managed to purchase some of Melbourne's trams during the 1980s.  Trams
are big wooden (generally) green things on wheels that roll down
streets of their own accord.  They live by few rules, excepting that
they do tend to stick to their tracks, although their reliance on such
concepts as "timetables" is doubtful.  In any case, trams carry people
who don't know where they want to go, somewhere, thus avoiding any
problems with packs of roaming people who don't know where they want to
go.

Melbourne is also famous for its gardens.  Indeed, the state of which
Melbourne is a capital, Victoria, which is also named after a certain
member of the British aristocracy of the 1800's, is also known as the
"Garden State."  For some time, this epitaph has appeared on car license
plates in the state, which may be somewhat ironic given the unfortunate
spread of freeways around the city in recent years.

Melbourne, being the capital of the gardenish state of Victoria, is
therefore the seat of the state government.  At the time of writing, it
is not a particularly good state government, but many locals will claim
that they can never remember a particularly good state government, so
it probably doesn't matter much.  The next state government probably
won't be particularly good either.

The only other slightly interesting thing to relate about Melbourne is
that it is known for its comedy.  Why this is is not apparent at first
glance, but most of the populace claim that what with the rotten
weather, government, economic crisis, etc., Melbourne people of all
people need something to laugh about.

See also:
  • Australia, Earth
  • Earth
  • Pubs Of Carlton/Fitzroy/Parkville, Melbourne, Australia, Earth

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