This article is classified "Real"
Wine tasting is not necessarily a snobbish pastime. There are many people
who taste beers, coffee, and tea, along with many other foods and drinks.
The first thing to understand is that wine tasting is a subjective
experience. Whatever you say to describe a wine is OK - if that is what you
experience. If you think this particular white tastes of cat's piss then
feel free to say it. It might remind you of Domestos or some other
household toilet cleaner. Personally, I have never tasted a Gerwurztraminer
because the smell is so overpowering that I have never brought a glass of it
to my lips. When tasting in a friendly gathering there is no right way to
do it. Whatever your friends feel is acceptable goes. But a couple of
small tips may be useful.
1) Use glass glasses. Plastic tumblers just degrade the
experience, and turn a connoisseurs' event into a debauched
piss up [0].
2) Never ever drive home. Always bring a sleeping bag. If you
have to leave the house then remember to bring a tent and
compass too, because you won't be sober enough to find your way
back.
3) Never ever try chatting anyone up. This usually results in an
embarrassing situation because the chattee is invariably stone
sober and probably thinks you are as pissed as a fart [0].
As a final note, some sort of formal note paper is useful. This usually has
slots for the name of the wine, region where the grapes were grown [1], year,
grape variety. Most of these you can get from the label. Don't even think
of doing blind tastings whilst still a beginner [2]. But more useful from a
beginner's point of view are the various standard characteristics of wine:
colour, taste (sweetness, bitterness, acidity), tannin, aroma,
body, legs, length, and rim.
To demonstrate let me give to you the tasting notes I made at the last
meeting of the Hughes Parry Hall Oenology Group. (No, we couldn't make a
good acronym out of that name either.)
Graves L'Hospital, 1992, reminds me of low alcohol wine, yellow, ok.
Dr Loosen's Riesling, 1992, white, ok.
Jacob's Creek, 1993, Australia, white, rose water, bored.
I didn't like that much. Thankfully the next bottle was very nice, and I
got more fluent in my praise.
Tokaji Aszu, 1988, desert wine, Hungary, Tokaj region, Tesco! Buy this.
It was very similar to dilute Commandaria which is a Cypriot desert wine.
Pouilly-Sur Loire, Loire, refreshing (probably because it was very cold),
hot day, french, and a couple of other things which were too scrawled for
me to read.
The next bottle I missed for some reason. I think my faculties must have
been slightly impaired.
Chateau Ramage La Batisse, 1989, Red. Missed.
Friends I know are welcome to the Hughes Parry Hall Wine Society meetings.
Please contact me for full details.
[0] To be pissed, verb, to be inebriated. The American phrase "I am
pissed" should be translated into English English as "I am pissed off"
unless the American is drunk - which is usually a good state to keep
them in.
Piss up, noun, an arranged meeting for the consumption of alcoholic
beverages.
[1] Yes, wine is made out of grapes.
[2] A blind tasting is where you don't see the label.