This article is classified "Real"
Have you ever wondered how to get into those press only areas, how to
identify a Field Researcher, or how to impress members of the opposite sex
on fifty-seven different planets?
Well, wonder no more, because here it is. Your official Project Galactic
Guide Press Card. (What? You say, you don't have one? Well, read the
usenet newsgroup alt.galactic-guide quickly to find out where to get yours,
then come back to this.)
Your Project Galactic-Guide Press Card, like all other press cards, is what
is called a courtesy card, you are requesting the courtesy of police
officers and other officials to "let you through their lines" into "press-
only" areas. The only truly official press passes are those that are
authorized by the local police. Properly used, this card will bring you
courtesy more often than you might want.
To get the most use out of your card, pay attention to four factors:
1) The appearance of your card. It should look professional.
Fill in the blanks neatly and paste a nice picture in the
appropriate spot. The picture should be a head-on, serious
"mug-shot," not a glamorous portrait. Black and white or
color is not important, but it should look more like an ID
photo than a christmas card.
2) Your professional behavior: be serious; be courteous to police
officers or other officials, and they are more likely to be
courteous to you. You may have to act charming and offer to
help, or in some other way ingratiate yourself to them, but it
will be worth it in the long run. Also, concerning
professional behavior, it helps to carry a notebook, or a
small tape recorder, into which you constantly put notes to
give yourself a professional air. If you have a camera, take
it along, it couldn't hurt.
3) The type of event: don't expect to get into a Madonna concert
or the Super Bowl. Press access is very strictly controlled
for large events. This card may however, get you into the
playing field of high school or college games, through police
lines at a fire, and into press conferences.
4) Planning. For fast breaking occurrences, such as fires, it is
obviously impossible to get prior permission; simply show up
with your press pass and hope for the best. For planned
events, however, such as games and press conferences, call in
advance. Call the sponsoring organization as early as
possible and ask for the Public Relations Director that is
handling the event you wish to enter. Tell them that you have
been assigned by Project Galactic Guide to cover the event and
ask to be placed on the Press List (a list of people who
have authorized access to the event). If you are told there
will be no Press List, ask what credentials you need beyond
your press card. (Usually, no more credentials than that will
be needed, however, if you need a letter from the press Editor,
E-Mail the Press Editor for Project Galactic Guide early
enough to have a letter faxed or mailed to you.)
Lastly, if you are asked about Project Galactic Guide, be honest. Explain
that it is an international organization of reporters and field researchers
posting articles to the worldwide Internet network. (Or something to that
effect.)
Remember:
Be courteous.
Be professional.
Don't panic.